Hola all,

This week I would like you all reading this wearing a snorkel and mask as I spent most of this week wearing one.

Monday 28th July
We awoke with the sparrows for our first day of learning how to do some advanced diving only to discover we werent starting until 10am and not 7am so we made ourselves some breakfast, read a little more of the big book and waited patiently for our instructor, Pablo.  We had heard stories about Pablo and now that we had the pleasure to meet him we soon realised they were all true.

As part of the advanced we had to achieve a Wreck Dive, Night Dive, Deep Dive, Navigation and Buoyancy Control so it was going to be an action packed and nerve racking few days.  We started with Wreck Dive and this was one that I particularly wanted to do although this wreck was actually sunken for the dive school, there was no history behind it unfortunately.  It could have been counted as the deep dive aswell as it was 30 metres to the wreck.  I was slightly nervous but once I was in the water this time my nerves turned into excitement and just going with the flow.

There were about 8 of us including Pablo and Suki the DM and descending this time will definitely be one to remember for me….it was amazing.  We were all in a circle and looking at each other as we started to go down all you could see was each other and then just the deep blue ocean.  It was like you were in a gigantic warm bath without the bubbles…amazing.  And then there it was…the sunken ship..it was truely a sight to be seen.  I kind of put myself searching the Titanic or something and i was really in awe.  We had to swim through the wreck then master buoyancy control through the hub as you could snag yourself on something but we all managed it ok.

There was a girl that kept getting in our way and doing crazy things like taking her mask off and freaking out but that is all part of doing a deep dive.  Some people suffer from narcosis which is like being really drunk and doing silly things…i was hoping for a bit of that 🙂  We started running out of air so had to return to the surface after a short time.

ahhh it was fabulous and something i will remember for the rest of my life.  The true feeling of floating and being free.

Then it was time for our buoyancy control stage which was going to be difficult but a bit of fun.  We had to get ourselves head first upside down and lower ourselves with just our breathing to kiss a stone (that was quite a strange feeling as when you breath out upside down all the bubbles bubble up around your bottom area, we had to swim through a couple of hoops by just using our breath, we saw a real life hermit crab which was huge – the shell where you put your ear to it and you can hear the sea, we had to balance weights, we took our flippers off and did somersaults and back flips and all sorts…we passed with flying colours.

My ears still play up when I ascend but I have got used to not hearing for a while now and just get sucked into the thrill of diving.

We got back to our room and had just enough time to grab something to drink and a snack in time for our Night Dive.  We were given a pep talk before the Night Dive about the dos and donts and then we were off.  Adrenalin was pumping this time and its the first time i’ve seen Laura nervous.  Torches in hand and pointing them down in the deep blue sea we descended it was colder and such a bizarre feeling.  Laura and I lost everyone for a brief moment and decided to hold hands or link arms for the whole dive. Everything looks totally different at night…the coral looks more alive.  We didnt really look around for fish as we were just concentrating or not getting lost.  A different girl in the team kicked me in the head then turned around to say sorry but ended up shining the torch in my eyes so I was a bit stunned for a while.  At a point we turned the torches off and waved our arms around, we shook up the bioluminescence in Marine Life it was fascinating and had me amused for quite a while.  The whole sea glowed up.

We made it in one piece apart from Pablo getting us to the surface at completely the wrong point so we had to swim for ages.  And as the guys were lifting me out of the water I fell over and cut my knee quite badly.  I still have the scar.  It was an experience anyway and one that I would like to do again, Laura isnt so sure.  It was Raz Paz’s last night in Honduras as he was now qualified as a Dive Master so we went to The Island Cafe for some food and my goodness the food was amazing.  They change the sauces every day so you chose the sauce and the meat and a big pile of food comes out hmmm its making my mouth water just thinking about it.  The rest of the gang carried on partying at Tranquilla but the three amigos went home as it was another day in the water in the morning.

Tuesday 29th July
The three of us were diving together today as Lisa had decided to do her advanced so it was going to be fun.  It was the Deep Dive and Navigation – we were dreading Navigation…but I was looking forward to getting narked in the Deep Dive.

Pablo started testing us all on the boat ride, he got out a numbered card and told us to count and point at the numbers from 1 – 30 and he timed us. The girls were chatting to me as I was doing it so my timing was 58 seconds…much slower than the others!  I blamed the girls and not me actually being slow.  We were also shown a coke bottle to take note of the size and the colour.  We then descended 30 metres and knelt on the sand at the bottom.  We were then told to do the numbers test again….mine was 42…I was quicker by 16 seconds…i should get narked more often as its obviously better for me.

Laura and I kept doing the v sign to Lisa and making other rude gestures which made us laugh and every time we laughed we had to clear our masks as water seeped in to them.  There was something else that tickled Laura and I that we couldnt stop laughing and it was probably something simple like one of us farting but it was absolutely hilarious.  Pablo then pulled out the coke bottle which looked purple in colour and had no air left inside it, he had one more trick up his sleeve….he pulled an egg from his pocket…. cracked it open and let the egg float around, it remained whole and he just played with it and the yolk still remained whole…it was brilliant.  We were all running out of air again so it was time to leave.

On the way back up we saw a massive Grouper fish which scared me as it was staring right at me and it was the size of a shark..to me it was anyway and had to hold on to Laura’s arm.  At the surface Laura noticed loads and loads of jelly fish, small ones but so many and they didnt sting me once.

The next dive was Navigation, Laura and I were dreading this the most, we are both rubbish at reading compasses and we were partners uh oh.  Pablo took us through the art of compass reading on the surface a few times as obviously he couldnt tell us in the water.  I think we were winding ourselves up to a frenzy.  Firstly I had to hold the compass and lead Laura out into the sea and then turn around and swim straight back to Pablo.  The person being led has to set the pace and depth so the compass reader concentrates on the direction!!….we swam off 30 strokes, my ears started to hurt with the pressure and so did Laura’s then we got a tug on the leg by Suki as we neared the surface and had to equalise to descend again…then I didnt know where we were, where Pablo was, where my ears were…it was a mess!

Luckily Pablo didnt see that we didnt know where the hell we were going as he was looking the other way.  Then it was Laura’s turn to read the compass but we were now told to swim in a different direction which followed the sea wall…..we swam for 30 paces turned around and swam back…then we had to swim a square which meant changing the compass points 90 degrees each time then swim for 30 paces….I just about did it then it was Laura’s turn again and we were really far away but luckily Pablo was looking in a different direction so Laura quickly changed her compass reading and swam to him…and he gave her a round of applause when we made it back…she is so cheeky!  We were all so close to running out of air that we could feel the last breaths in the tank!  but we made it.  We had another really long swim back which is so tiring.  We went up to the Mango again for something nice to eat and had an early night.

Wednesday 30th July
We decided to do our fun dives on friday in the hope that Matt and Josh could do a dive with us all so we thought we would kick back for a few days.  We went on the internet at the Mermaid and wandered about.  Back at the ranch we had showers then had to prepare to be tested by Pablo at 8pm.  It was easy peasy and official, we were now Advanced Open Water divers.

We had a few drinks to celebrate then headed to meet up with Matt and Josh in Treetanic where there was going to be a Dive Master challenge. Which involves the new Dive Master to wear a snorkel (with a funnel on the end ) and mask.  Someone else pours a concoction of rather potent spirits and drinks down the funnel and the new DM has to down it all without falling over or vomiting…its all very ladylike.  So we all met up in the trees and watched 2 new DM’s becoming fully fledged DM’s and only one of them was sick.

Laura suggested Tequillas as she often does and I agree like a fool so the night now becomes heavy.  Many beers and tequillas later we bump into Pablo who wants to celebrate with us so after a terrible visit to the toilet with Laura, I wont divulge, we all went up to the Bar in the Bush.  They were giving away these balloons that were filled with nitros oxide (laughing gas) so Laura and I started off having a few then Pablo and I had about 6 and nearly wet ourselves.  He calls himself a diving instructor honestly!!  We stumbled back to carry on the party at his house.

Thursday 31st July
We had a lie in with sore heads and horrible tasting mouths, slowly got up and bimbled about town.  Wasted the day on the internet and doing laundry and swinging in the hammock.  We had a few drinks with Michelle, the bar owner at Cross Creek, and lounged about listening to the ipod.  Laura wanted an early night so Lisa and I went out with Deano to the Island Cafe for some tasty nosh.  We met up with Alex, Lisa’s new Israeli beau, for a few drinks in Coco Loco by the waters edge and actually talked about books we have read!!  I went off to meet Pablo for a few more drinks.

Friday 1st August
3 Amigos got up for our fun dives together.  We sorted our kit out and got on the boat.  Our Dive Master was Graham again so hopefully it was going to be a good dive.  We were hoping to go to the North Island again but it was only as far as the Lighthouse – which wasnt far.  They were fairly slow dives unfortunately but on the first one we saw 2 Eagle Rays which just glided past us with such elegance, they were beautiful and so close, and we saw a normal Ray going the other way at the same time.  We saw a couple of Grouper fish, the big ones that scare me.

The second dive Graham took us into a tiny cave where our buoyancy was a necessity as the cave was quite tight but we managed it again.  We touched the floor with our hands a few times and ended up with splinter type cuts on our fingers.  We saw another Eagle Ray and a few more fisheees.  We popped back up and the others had the pleasure in telling us that we missed a family of Dolphins…which sounded amazing…we were gutted!  It was our last night in Utila so we arranged with Matt and Josh to meet them for a last supper before our early ferry in the morning.  We met them in the Mango for another lush pizza and a few drinks.  It was a really lovely evening I even had a little dip in the pool.  Matt had a dicky tummy and the rest of us needed an early night so we departed company with big hugs and kisses.

Saturday 2nd August
We got up at 6am well Laura and I did, Lisa was nowhere to be seen until she burst through the door and was still packed before me!  On the way to the ferry a couple said that it wasnt running so there was no way of getting off the island.  We didnt really want to leave anyway so we dropped our bags back off in the hope that our room was still available, which it was and headed out to find out what was happening.  The ferry would definately be leaving the following day.  So we decided to enjoy our last day again.

We went back to Cross Creek, picked up Deano who needed to wash his clothes in the Mango pool so we all went up there for one of their famous coffees.  We bumped into Josh so we arranged to meet him and Matt again for a few drinks later so we can say goodbye for the 2nd time.  We thought we would sit and bask by the pool, Lisa went to dangle her feet in and Deano picked her up and chucked her into the water fully clothed with all her jewellery and everything on. Deano washed his clothes in the pool.  Lisa got out and started drying her stuff.  When they were nearly dry Deano chucked them all in the water again so then we threw all his things in but Laura and I tried to keep out of it as we were dry!  Deano is very very funny and the stories he tells are hilarious and he really doesnt care how bad it makes him look which makes it even funnier.

After Lisa’s clothes had dried a little more we headed back to Cross Creek, we stuck on some Michael Jackson and YMCA to which we got the whole dive school rocking and had a little party.  Laura decided to teach Lisa how to down beer through a straw she did really well and I have video evidence.  Michelle was getting the best business than she ever had there.  We were getting through the beers and then headed off to meet Matt and Josh with Deano.

There actually ended up being quite a big crowd out to say goodbye which was nice.  We all went to Island Cafe and had a raucous time.  Im actually getting better eating infront of a huge crowd so that was a pat on the back to me although I think the drinks helped.  We all then went off to Treetanic for another Dive Master Challenge and tore up the treehouse one last time…getting everyone on tequillas and jagermeisters…we were heading off to Tranquilla and I ended up tripping over a stupid mushroom and falling flat on my knees which makes another falling over point to me…im still ahead of Laura but there is still time.  My knee bled prefusely and i have another scar to add to all my others.  We had a few more drinks in Tranquilla after getting lots of sympathy for my leg, said bye to everyone AGAIN and went home.

Sunday 3rd August
Woke up in the top bunk – my bed was the bottom bunk – fully clothed.  God knows why I was up there as there was no ladder so it must have been a complete mission, although you can fly when you are drunk.  We packed up – which I dont remember doing – and headed for our early ferry.  There was no ferry… well not until 11am.

We bumped into Josh again to say goodbye again.  My toothpaste had leaked all in my bag so I was having a mini trauma and I couldnt remember packing my bikini etc so Lisa and I went back to Cross Creek to find them…to no avail (they were later discovered in my bag, all packed neatly in the proper place and everything, I vowed to never pack in the morning after again).

We had some breakfast in Bundu and by that time the boat was ready to set sail.  We all piled on and luckily it was a different boat this time that didnt soak you….hurrah…we had prepared ourselves this time for a soaking.  We reached the dock at lovely La Ceiba again to a bombardment of pushing and pulling from taxi drivers.  We got one fairly cheaply but discovered that was because there was a mother, her 2 children (one of which Laura had on her knee) and all her shopping in the car aswell as our 3 rucksacks and the 3 of us!!  It was a bit of tight squeeze but we made it.  We reached the bus station after confirming only 100 lempira with the taxi driver but he wasnt happy with that when we arrived…he was shouting about policia etc etc but I said Laura sit on the bags which she did and Lisa just handed him the 100 and sent him on his way…he cursed us a little bit.

Another taxi driver that came to the rescue said the guy was mad as a hatter anyway so that made us feel better.  There was a bit of a hooo ha with bus times with the guy behind the counter saying we had to wait about 4 hours for a bus.  But with a bit of our ladies charm we managed to get on the 13:30 bus.  There were some other English folk waiting and they were sold the 4pm bus and couldnt change it.  Stick with us and these people will go far! 7 hours later and a guy called Adam from Israel, in tow we arrived at Tegucigalpa (the capital city of Honduras).  It was dark and late ish so we decided to get our heads down for an early night.  The four of us shared a small room, Laura and I in one bed, Adam and Lisa in the other, it was cosy but it had cable tv and a shower…albeit cold and no glass in the window so the mossies were out.  I had a night of Laura flicking her hair in my face…if anyone has had the pleasure of sharing a bed with Laura you will know what I mean.

Anyway now I leave it for another week

Hope you are all well and happy..

Oodles and oodles of Love

Amanda “chicken bus lover” Oakley xx

Hola hola Dear people,

This week I would like to be sitting comfortably after having a hot shower and being able to flush the toilet…its quite a luxury so dont take it for granted!

Monday 21st July
After changing my sleeping positions numerous times through the night in the hammock and having to retrieve my blankets from the floor on numerous occasions, I can safely say I didnt have a great night sleep.  Although the sun was shining we had decided to move on to Rio Dulce (somewhere Heather had told us we MUST go), the river was still swollen so we vowed to go back one day to take the river on inner tubes by storm.

Our lift to Rio Dulce was at 8am so I had a quick COLD shower which made me feel dirtier as it is right next to the outdoor toilet which has a very strong aroma.  We got to reception and waited for our lift, only to discove that the lift to Rio Dulce only goes once a week on a thursday!!! What?? Number 1, we got up early and number 2, we needed to move on as there was nothing to do in Lanquin.  So looking rather disgruntled a nice man in a chicken bus and Omar Shariff offered to give us a lift.  Omar tried to shove us in an already over packed bus to which we declined in favour of a front seat and cheaper ride.  It wasnt going all the way to Rio Dulce so we changed in El Rancho.  The ride was white knuckley again up the hill but luckily this time it wasnt raining, we passed many big women sat on the side of the road with their small children in the middle of nowhere and whose homes were nothing more than a one roomed bricked building covered by corrugated iron.

A couple of bumpy hours later we arrived in El Rancho where our bags and us were swiftly transported to another chicken bus.  1 hour down the road they stopped the bus, took our bags of the roof and took them to a waiting, horrible, smelly big bus.  We didnt know where we were going as we thought we were being taken all the way to Rio Dulce…alas no…. we got in the big, horrible smelly bus where there were no seats left so Laura told the guy that we werent paying to stand up for 3 hours…he gave us a discount and even more flookily 2 people where we were standing got off shortly after we got on….seated all the way.

We stood out a mile on this bus as the only Westerners so tried to blend in.  There was a couple beside us…the husband had one arm and she kept taking tablets and looked really really ill and not with it so I think we managed to blend quite well.  3 hours later we arrived in Rio Dulce…another dirty town…but we were told to cross the bridge and head for Backpackers Hostel where its much nicer.  We got off the bus and got in a taxi who took us to Backpackers Hostel for a pound, which was a rip off but atleast we made it.  We met Rebecca, the Manager, who was really welcoming and nice.  The hostel was fairly deserted but it was on the lake and had a beautiful setting…especially as the sun was just setting.  We got settled in then ordered some food from the restaurant.  It was a disappointment for poor ol Laura as she got the smallest portion you have ever seen.  She was not fortified so it made her a little miserable…we retired to our mosquito filled room for an early night.

Tuesday 22nd July
We had slept in hoodies, trousers, our sleeping sacks pulled over our heads, socks and plenty of mosquito spray and we still heard them whizzing past our ears and I still got a couple of bites on my face…and bum! We had breakfast and took to the streets to find a lift to La Finca Paraiso, the hot waterfall that Heather told us about.

We took the long walk over the bridge in the boiling 10am heat and quickly found the side street where we were told to get the lift from.  Many people shouting La Finca Paraiso, La Finca Paraiso, LA FINCA PARAISO!  So we got in to the already full chicken bus and off we went.  It was supposed to take about an hour to get there so we sat tight, and we really had to as the road (if you can call it that), was extremely bumpy and pot holey, luckily I didnt need the toilet but if I did there would have been a few accidents.  An hour of “this hot waterfall thing better be worth all this bumping and throwing this way and that, it better be the best waterfall I have ever seen in my life”!  We got dropped off in the middle of nowhere it seemed…the guys said a short walk down there so off we went.

It was now blistering heat so if I couldnt run, jump, dive, bomb, swim about in this waterfall im not going to be happy.  We started the walk then this little man of about 80 stepped out of the bushes in his wellies and straw hat and we think he said follow me.  So we did.  It was a good 7 minute walk and my God that man could walk.  We could hardly keep up with the ol fella.  We walked past all these women village goers washing their dirty laundry in the river whilst their husbands sat on the riverbank listening to the radio.  Then we got the whiff we recognised from all those months ago…the whiff of egg sarnies…we had arrived at the hot springs.

It was beautiful, set amongst a remote woodland where all you could hear was the waterfall. We paid the security guard 10 quetzals, stripped off and dipped a toe in…it was freezing!  Once in you had to swim against the really really strong current to reach the waterfall, it was tough.  Having nearly got there from what felt like it took 20 minutes a couple of men reached out their hands and dragged us the final stint. My lordy the waterfall was so powerful and very hot. We stood up on a rock and had the waterfall beating down on our backs as we shouted ahhhhh ahhhh and sounding rather like tarzan.  Then on our fronts and nearly losing my bikini top, well the strength of the water undid my top!  even mother nature is a dirty bugger! The guys grabbed our hands and told us to duck…underneath the rock face..where it had worn away with the water there was a nook where you could stand and watch the other people splashing about through the waterfall and no one knew we were there.  We fought with the current a few more times to reach the big rock and the medium massaging rocks repeeated our tarzan calls and decided to get out.

Laura held the towel whilst I got changed…it was a small towel unfortunately and Laura had shakey hands so im not sure how much the security guard saw of me but hey ho…. he was soon snoring away.  You could rely on him to keep our belongings safe thats for sure.

All dried and satisfied we walked back to the entrance to wait for a return lift.  On the way we walked past some men working that said Hola Hola so we said Hola Hola back then they said Hola Hola back and so it went on!  Having reached the entrance I realised that I had lost my Mayan ring (Anillo) so Laura basked while I took the walk back to the hot bloomin waterfalls…past teh Hola Hola boys….as I started walking the little old man comes running out of the bushes to escort me back to the waterfalls with speed so I started to explain that I had lost my anillo, we got back to the sleeping security guard and explained to him that I had lost my anillo…I started looking where I thought I had lost it and there it was shining away.  I excitedly told them that I had found it and preceeded to tell the security guard how good he was…even though he was asleep for the whole thing…it put a smile on his face all the same.

On the FAST walk back children from the village gathered round me as the old fella told them about my ring they all gasped and wanted to look at it…all I could say was Mayan and they gasped again…it was so nice although a little hectic.  Then we had to wait and wait for our chicken bus ride home.  Whilst we were waiting we got approached by a man who started preaching Gods work which was nice and passed the time, whilst he was there a car stopped offering us a lift, 2 dodgy men were inside who looked like a cross between Freddy Mercury and Jack the Ripper so we declined their offer…especially as they had to ask the Preacher how much it would cost us…surely its the other way round.  Bearing in mind there is no traffic or people anywhere in sight normally.

Then our real ride turned up so breathing a sigh of relief we got in even though it was another nightmare of a journey back to Rio Dulce!  We got back to the Backpackers Hostel safe and sound and thought we would celebrate with a nice cold Guatemalan beer.  We were just ordering when we noticed a little lost lamb called Lisa (28 (later discovered she was 27 but liked to round up!), from Vancouver), who later became our very own Tag Along, we asked her to join us for a beer and there she stayed.

We were off to Utila, Honduras one of the Bay Islands the next day and Lisa was going there too so we planned the next trip together.  Rusty, who owns a Hostel in Livingston gave us tips on how to get there which sounded a little complicated and involved a couple of boat rides and bus rides and speaking quite a bit of Spanish…which luckily and one of the reasons why we invited Lisa was because she could speak fluent Spanish…apparently!  We watched the sun set over the lake then within minutes a huge black cloud appeared and we were all ushered inside for what would be an intense thunderstorm and boy did the rain pour but it was great as we swung in a hammock listening and watching.  We had an early night as it was going to a long travelling day the next day.

Wednesday 23rd July
We awoke having not been too eaten by mossies but 1 of the French guys that had arrived late and were staying in our room had one eye open and directed at me then at Lisa! and kept asking what the time was.  I hope he was sleep talking.  We had some breakfast, packed up then boarded our 9.30am boat.

It was a small boat which held about 15 people so it was quite personal.  An orphanage is part of the Backpackers Hostel and it is funded by the Backpackers so we got some information from Rebecca, just incase we are back and took to the seas.  It was a 3.5 hour crossing which included a bit of sightseeing from the waters.  The boat ride was stunning and definately the best mode of transport to Livingston.  We saw hundreds and hundreds of white birds in 1 tree and black birds in another tree on one of the islands we passed.  We saw run down houses set on the waters edge.  An island where monkeys and crocodiles were supposed to inhabit but we didnt see any.  A small boy on a tiny boat carrying a huge crab, he appeared from nowhere and didnt say a word just showed us this crab.  Part of the lake was completely covered with lilles which was quite pretty.

We touched down in Livingston after the boat driver dropped a poor girl with a massive backback off at a really horrendous point which wasnt even a dock.  She had to walk over these tyres in the water and nearly fell in…it was awful to watch.  We ran around to the other port where another boat was supposed to take us to Puerto Barrios for the next leg of the journey but the guys said we wouldnt make it to the Bay Islands and that it was best to stay the night in Livingston.

We went back to the other port where there was a bar and a small band playing jamaican style music and big mamas were getting up and shaking their booties and met Dwayne.  Dwayne told us about various places we could stay the night so we had a beer then headed off with him to see what the town had to offer.

Livingston is quite small and has a really caribbean type feel to it.  The hotel where Dwayne promised would be cheap wasnt that cheap so he walked us to Rusty’s hostel, which was full and a loooong walk in the heat so we decided to go back to the first place.  We found out that these guys that meet you off boats and buses and offer you places to stay actually get commission from the hotels or hostels so they really are very helpful and we dont have to pay which is a bonus.  Dwayne carried most of our bags as we really didnt want to carry them up the hill, he was a lovely chap.

We settled into our room and nearly got splinters in our bums when sitting on our beds!  The mattresses were non existent but the room was nice enough.  We headed out for a walk to the beach, where we were told to be careful.  The beach was horrible and hard to believe that it was Caribbean waters….the sand was black from dirt and litter and the water looked grey and so uninviting so that took 5 minutes before turning back.

A little restaurant looked nice called Marias, she features in the Lonely Planet so she told us a hundred times and she cooks from 10 different countries as her son is Indian and her sister is English and her Uncle is Japanese, im exagerating slightly but it was like that and she didnt stop.  She convinced us to try her pizza which was the best in the world so I had that whilst Laura and Lisa tried out her curry.  The pizza was one of the worst pizzas ive ever tasted but she talks a good talk Maria ill give her that.  The curry wasnt great either.  We sat there and got talking to some locals, 1 took a shine to Laura called Rasputin and kept vanishing and appearing with more flowers to put behind her ears.  We said goodbye to Maria and returned to our hostel for an early night as we had a 6am start in the morning.  Lisa passed out fully clothed as she had taken some anti malaria tablets and didnt wake up until the morning.  There was a knock at the door and there was Rasputin…it was like a scene from Romeo and Juliet…he swore his undying love for Laura..it was a beautiful moment.

Thursday 24th July
Early o’clock we awoke and headed for the port…it was boiling hot even at 6am.  The boat wasnt until 9am so we grabbed some breakfast…which was horrible and boarded another small boat to Puerto Barrios.  We arrived an hour later to taxi drivers pushing and pulling and hassling us in Spanish so Lisa calmed them down and we hopped in a taxi to the market where we needed to get a bus.

A collectivo was waiting for us and soon filled up.  We were off to Kortina, the border town.  The journey was 1.5 hours and was fairly comfortable although still a bumpy ride.  Lisa had left her passport in her big bag which was on the roof so we had a bit of a hold up.  We made the immigration staff laugh at Guatemala again and went on our way.  We were dropped off at the actual border so had to walk the rest of the way.  We paid our dues to another lovely Honduran immigration man who gave us the best stamp, well Lisa and I anyway…Laura always gets the rubbish stamps and she is the one that collects them!

We walked and walked to another bus stop which was going to take us to Puerto Cortez.  The bus arrived, which was an old American school bus we were very excited as we hadnt been on one before…it felt like something from the movies.  All the buses have pumping music blaring out aswell.  All the old folk love it.  3 hours later we arrived to a rather horrible, dirty town.  Lisa havd needed the toilet for the past 2.5 hours so she darted to the loo, followed closely by Laura.  I didnt really like the look of the toilets, still not completely over that phobia I decided to hold on…especially as we had to pay and we didnt have any local currency.

The next bus was a directo collectivo to San Pedro Sula, the Aids capital of Honduras but first we encountered a horrible vicious man who wanted us to go in his bus and actually started putting his hands on us.  Luckily the guy from the bus we had chosen helped us and escorted us to his bus.  There was nowhere to put our luggage so we piled it all up as we were the first on there.  A man came aboard with crates of coke, bags of rice, crates of fruit and baskets of other stuff.  He managed to fit it all in between our legs and stacked up here and there.

We arrived at the bus station a little like rabbits in headlights but we got ourselves the most gorgeous ice cream ever and got a taxi to the other bus station for our 3 hour next bus to La Ceiba. This was going to be one of our longest day of travelling so far.  The bus was waiting and it was another big bus, more of a coach, which was slightly more comfortable but still sweaty hot.  We arrived in the knowledge that we werent going to make it to the Bay Islands today…it was darkness, grabbed a taxi to take us to a hostel.  There was no room at the Inn so the taxi driver ended up taking us to a dodgy area but we managed to stay in a hotel with its own bathroom (cold shower and no toilet seat) and 3 big, comfortable beds.  The staff were friendly and it was cheap, Hotel Caribe.  I had the quickest shower ever, I can now shower, change, do my hair and everything in 20 minutes.  It was 10pm and all we had to eat all day was breakfast at 6am and an ice cream, we were hungry so went in search of food.  The streets were deserted and slightly scary so we retreated home for another early night with the father christmas butterflies in our tummy in the knowledge that we will finally make our destination first thing tomorrow.

Friday 25th July
We got an early taxi ride to the ferry port for the 9am ferry.  We were 1.5 hours early! So we bought a ticket and got some breakfast from a little shack.  We returned in time for our ferry only to find it was now due to go at 10am we stuck our ipods on and chilled out for a bit.  10am came and there was no signs of movement so we got the playing cards out.

We started talking to Matt and Josh who were also waiting for the ferry so we invited them to join our card game.  Matt chose Go Fish as the game…which was our mentallity in a nutshell.  We found out that Matt and Josh were father and son from Sacremento and were soon to be our best friends.  Matt was treating Josh to a diving holiday as Josh had done really well at school.  They are such a lovely, friendly, polite duo.  Now the staff were saying that the boat would leave at 4pm!!! With alot of time to kill we thought we would head in to town…but on the way through the port we befriended a guy called David (who looked mysteriously like David Gest) that had a pickup so we all piled into the back as he wanted to hang out with us for the day.

He took us to the mall, Lisa had a pedicure,,,Josh was going to join her but he didnt have time.  We then had some breakfast/lunch and a beer in a much posher than we are used to restaurant.  We all got to know each other and had a real laugh.  3pm was approaching so we headed back to the ferry dock.  Many more people were there so the boat was definitely leaving for Utila at 4pm yipeee.  The 5 of us played another game of Go Fish before it was time to go.

The ferry (Utila Princess) was 2 storey and quite small compared to all the people pushing to get in.  There was an undercover bit when you walked in but we headed straight for the outside bit as it was hot.  The area we were in filled out alot so Matt headed upstairs to the bit thats closed off.  We followed him, this area had just a rail all around  so we were told to sit down.  Then we noticed that people were given plastic bags, we thought it was for sickness so we let it pass.  We were off….and for the first 5 minutes it was enjoyable, sunny, calm but then came a bit of spray…we accepted the spray and then…the spray turned into pressure washer spray which really hurt and drenched you.  At first we were trying to protect our clothes and our belongings as our bags had everything we owned in them and werent waterproof but after about 15 minutes and not able to see a dry patch on my clothes i decided to let it be.  Every time the boat went over a wave we got drenched with what was like the pressure washer come comedy buckets of water that you see in sketch shows being thrown from the side of the stage.  I was laughing so much I nearly wet myself and you really wouldnt have been able to tell if I had had a little wee right there.

Josh got a soggy cigarette from his pocket and went to light it hehe.  Laura and I shimmied our bums over to the stairs to get away from it but even over there everyone was soaking so we sat the remainder with our backs to the spray and hoped it will all end soon.

1 hour and a half later we arrived at sunny Utila!  We were greeted by many diving companies and hotels that wanted our business for cheap.  Josh and Matt were staying at the Mango (Utila Dive School) so we tried there first, they were full so we tried a few other places that were full.  We left our bags at the Mango in search of a bed for the night.  We were walking around like little drowned rats.  Luckily Utila consists of just 2 long streets so we walked down the main strip and came across Cross Creek Dive School (which Jonathan from Seattle had mentioned we should go through).  The dive schools offer beds aswell, free if you are doing some diving but cheap if you are not.  Warren was most helpful and showed us around…it was a perfect location, perfect setting, the dive boat left from just next to our room, the 3 of us had a room to ourselves with a shower (cold), we had hammocks outside, the bar was just opposite… we couldnt have landed more solidly on our feet!

Lisa was going to start her Padi Open Water diving in the morning but our mission was to corrupt Josh – Matt asked politely so how could we refuse.  We walked back up to the Mango to meet Josh and Matt, who let us use there hot shower and their towels and everything and had some food and a few beers with them.

Lisa went back to get an early night as she was diving at 7am and Matt took the rest of us to The Treehouse.  Oh My God this place is amazing….the grounds go on and on through these twisty paths where all the walls and floor and toilets etc are decorated in mosaic tiles made from broken bottles, shells, mirrors…you name it it was used.  The guy that did it must have worked on it for years and apparently each day you go back something new appears. You have to go and see it to believe how amazing this place is.  Then we headed for the bar in the actual treehouse which again is so quirky and involves stepping up steep steps and not appropriate when you have a short skirt on I found.

Matt left the kids to it so we got Josh on the tequillas and beer in hope to find him a nice lady who will corrupt him further.  The party continued at The Bar in the Bush where everyone was bumping and grinding it was crazy in there.  Josh danced that night which he doesnt normally do but we still werent able to corrupt him.  3ish in the morning we stumbled back to our digs….needing the toilet, which is outside we walked the short distance from our room…on the way we met Deano who was in need of loo roll… why do boys need toilet roll?? so we ended up embarrassing the poor boy…the 3 of us also had a conversation about our history whilst all on the toilet….it was great.

Saturday 26th July
Lisa was in and out and in and out of the room at 7ish…she isnt a quiet young thing.  With a little bit of a sore head we got up and slowly got ready for a day of exploring.  We bumped into Deano again who told us how funny we were the night before.  i didnt remember much so it was enlightening.  Josh came to pick us up so we could go and explore and boy was it hot.

A short walk away there was a little beach that you had to pay for… so we didnt go there!  We decided to meet Matt from his boat for lunch.  He took us to a greasy spoon type place where I had burger and chips – which wasnt very nice.  Utila isnt that big and doesnt really offer anything but diving, if you dont dive then there is nothing really to do there apart from drink.  The beaches have sand flies which really put me off.  We went back to Cross Creek to book our Advanced Open Water diving course which was dirt cheap but it means studying which neither I or Laura enjoy so we thought we would press on with the reading sat in these warped chairs outside our room with a beer and the dogs.  The instructors and Dive Masters had been playing underwater rugby so came back all excitable.  We were then told by the staff that we couldnt start the course tomorrow and it would have to be Monday instead but to compensate we would get 2 free dives ontop of the 2 free dives you get with your course…brilliant!  We werent too disppointed as we still got to dive.  An early start though so we met Matt and Josh at the Mango for some pizza, which is the best pizza ever, and had an early night.

Sunday 27th July
Laura and I got up early for our dives, luckily we only had to walk across the decking to the equipment room but we had to find all our own kit…which we arent used to so it was a bit scary.  We met our Dive Master, Graham, who would be taking us out and boarded the brightly coloured boat.  We were going to the North of the Island which took about 30 minutes to get to.  The butterflies and sick feeling came – we were told we had to step off the boat which I wasnt used to so I started having a little panic, especiallly as you have to walk through the boat with all your gear on…and its heavy…in order to jump off.

Normally I sit on the side and flop off backwards which is alot easier.  The water was very very calm, clear and warm though which calmed me a little but I still had my moment before descending where I panic and cant find my breath so Graham calms me down and holds my hand as we descend.  I wasnt used to freefalling either as I have used the anchor rope to descend before but I managed it with Grahams help.

It felt like there was no current at all and was just so beautiful.  We saw lobster, snapper, squid, parrot fish and lots of other fish, the coral is fairly beaten up due to the hurricane but it was still so colourful.  We stayed at about 12 feet but the other side of the wall was just nothingness and so so deep..you could see for miles too as it was so clear.  I stomach started flipping as I was getting really excited by diving in Honduras, it is spectacular and I realised just then how lucky I was/am.  We popped to the surface again where my ears took a bashing as they can never pop back to normal so I end up being deaf for the rest of the day after a dive.

The second dive I panicked a little again but Laura held my hands this time as we descended and I felt much better about it and had a much better dive.  I really have the bug now…  We got back to the base, had showers and popped out for some food before getting an early night as we were exhausted.

There I will leave you my amigos…

Much love Amanda “in touch with nature” Oakley xxxx

Hola Hola,

This week you need to be reading this with some Birthday Cake with 30 candles in it…and a cup of tea of course.

Monday 14th July
Leaving Playa for definite this time…We had our last free breakfast, said goodbye to Green Eyes and Declan and headed for the bus station to buy our bus ticket out of there…to Chetumal.  Another 4.5 hour journey ahead of us which is really nothing now.  Just enough time to have a little listen on our ipods, look out the window, have a little cat nap and a little read and then we arrive at our destination, I did eat a roadside Taco along the way also I surprised myself and Laura.

The bus depot is a little hectic with people screaming spanish and hustling you this way and that.  We flag a taxi, negotiate the price then go to a cheap hotel.  It was my turn to check out the room and price with the “not so friendly” staff.  They looked at me like I was crackers when I said a double bed for 2 girls would be fine as it was the cheapest…it was a small bed but it was only for 1 night so we didnt mind, and we know where the imaginery line is to not cross.  We bunged our bags in the small clinical room and headed out for a little walk.

It wasnt the nicest of towns and it was fairly deserted.  We stumbled across some water…I didnt even know there was a coastline there so we got a little excited for the sea breeze and lay on the wall for a while in the evening sun and dunking our little feet (mine not so little im being told…ALOT) in the rather disgusting waters.  With rumbling tummies we wandered back to a chinese restaurant that Laura noticed (quel surprise) for a spot of din dins.  The food wasnt nice and they happened to be doing some rather noisy DIY so we went back to our hotel for an early night, as our bus was at 6.30am the next morning!

Tuesday 15th July
5.15am up we rose.  We are getting quicker at packing so were out of the door by 5.45am.  Apparently flagging a taxi would be straightforward but of course it was not…it was death o´clock out there so there was no one about and when we found one we couldnt understand what the chap was saying.  It was only until some other chap grabbing a “kebab” on his way home from a night out translated the conversation for us… we could get a ride but his trunk didnt work…ahhhh fine.  We threw all our stuff into the cab and off we went.  Got to the bus station with about 10 minutes to spare, queued for our ticket but was too late.  We had to wait for another hour!

Our bus was already there so we got some breakfast and the driver let us on the bus early.  It was HOTTER on there, the seats didnt recline, the windows didnt open but there was a toilet…which wasnt working and had no toilet paper or soap or water..you had to pay for the public toilet…which worked but it was dirty, had no toilet paper…or soap….or water.  Hello to feeling dirty! a real fear of mine.  A couple boarded aswell and the girl kept moaning and moaning about the heat, lack of toilet, lack of reclining seats in English uh oh..the poor guy with her..it shut us up though.  The last thing we wanted to do was sound like her.  We were travelling from Mexico through Belize to Guatemala which would take about 8 hours but the bus was a little old to say the least.

We set off, just about, as the bus chug chug chugged along and nearly broke down.  Within an hour we reached the border, others on the bus were paying for a return trip as they were reentering Mexico but we werent…we still managed to get a return visa though free…this is getting the norm…we didnt get a stamp out of America and now we were expected back in Mexico.  The bus took us to immigration where we were offloaded again with all our backpacks and people hassling us as soon as we got off the bus to change money, pushing us this way and that way and shouting at us in Spanish until we walked away quickly. We paid our dues and set foot into Belize.

The borders are never pretty but as we drove off we could see how beautiful Belize is…lush green dense vegetation and rolling hills.  There were signs in English everywhere which we though bizarre and really run down shacks for houses on stilts.  The bus stopped at the roadside so those going to Belize City could change buses so we went to what looked like someones house with an opened hatch who was serving burgers.  We tried to speak spanish to the lady and noticed that we could understand her she was infact speaking Belizean Creole or Kriol dem burgers av chikin n dem n dem burgers are amburgers..reminded me abit of London.

I was going to go to the toilet but thought better of it when i discovered it was outside and much worse than the one on the coach.  As we were discussing how to pay for dem burgers the bus took off down the street so we shouted and screamed at it only to discover that it was just moving on a little bit.  We went back to the girl with the burgers who was laughing at us.  We got back on the rubbish coach stuffing our faces all prepared for the orf…the coach had died so the driver asked for all men to help push.  Laura and I went out with the full intention of pushing but ended up nearly wetting ourselves instead and taking photos of the others sweating of course.  We jumped on the bus whilst it was moving because it couldnt stop.

We reached the Guatemalan border,  1st stop immigration, we tend to make the immigration staff laugh whenever we cross a border which helps our case.  We reached a big black man behind the counter who noticed my surname and said in his Kriol accent that he knew I was famous when he first saw me.  He wanted to tell everyone but I told him to keep it on the down low as I didnt want people to know and that was the reason I look like a backpacker.  He said that he was on my website the other day wanting to buy some sunglasses.  I said I had loads in my bag and if he was good to us then Daddy would be good to him in return.  We then went off giggling to pay to enter Guatemala and to change up some Pesos into Quetzals (GTQ) another new currency to learn…not easy for us two.

Guatemalan countryside is just as lush green and dense as Belize with rolling hills.  But you could instantly tell that it was a 3rd world country, houses made from corrugated iron and really run down, streets that were rubble and pot holey, men carrying big packs on their backs full of branches and women for that matter.  They arent afraid of hard work.  We finally reached our destination of Flores, a very small town where people want to help you no end.

We piled into a people carrier where the driver wanted to help find us somewhere to stay.  We managed to check into a nice enough hotel, very cheap and the view of the sun setting over Lago (Lake) Peten Itza was amazing.  There was a house on a tiny little island that we saw people swimming to.  So that became our mission…but not today.  We had a COLD shower, dumped our bags and had a mini explore.

Flores didnt look very big so even we couldnt get lost here.  The roads were narrow and more like dirt tracks, very dusty.  So we stumbled across the first bar/restaurant we saw and stayed there.  The beer was cold and the food looked good and later tasted good, although we couldnt ask for salt and pepper as I forgot my phrase book.  Here, we met Edward Magnus Ashton Shuttleworth and ….Bob!  A very distinguished English chap, 19,  from Surrey no less and a Dutch Rocker dude (29).  They met travelling and were travelling throughout Guatemala together.  We got most tiddley with them and had a laugh..funny boys.  I had to put on my telephone voice to speak to Shuttleworth though!  A few hours later they decided to get some tequilla so we sat on their roof terrace, which also overlooked the lake, and gossiped some more.  Laura and I finally crawled home at…dare I say it…10pm and I passed out like a light.

Wednesday 16th July
We got up and went on the search for some breakfast.  We walked down a little side alley and reached the Lake…wow… absolutely stunning.  It was a hot day and the sun reflected off the Lake..wow, wow.  We found a cafe a little further around the Lago which didnt look too terrible and ordered our breakfast….eeeew the flies when it came out werre horrendous and neither of us could bear it…but Miguel (86, Flores born, boat driver, fitter than Laura and I) came to chat to us.  He said he knew 8 different languages but im not sure English could be rated as one of them.  He wanted us to go on a little boat trip around the Lake, we could see Monkeys, Cougars, Pumas, Crocodiles, Tucans the list went on.  A couple of German guys and Katie (another traveller) all wanted to go on the tour aswell so we managed to haggle with Miguel and got a good deal.

We jumped onboard his little motor boat and off we went…stopping firstly at his house across the lake to pick up his lunch.  It took about 45 minutes to reach where we thought the wild animals would be.  When we got there, it was a zoo, which you had to pay for and was more expensive for tourists.  We crossed a rickety old bridge which wasnt that different to the ones in Indiana Jones or something like that with planks missing,  I thought I was going to fall in, especially when Laura kept jumping up and down on it.

The zoo was awful; crocodiles with no space to move, monkeys looking really sad, parrots with no space and the smell….eww.  This sight didnt make us happy atall.  However, there was an outdoor slide like in the Goonies that you could bomb down into the Lake, apparently someone got hurt so they had to close one of them so we decided not to partake.

Miguel chugged us back to where we started.  All in all it was a nice day and the lake is absolutely beautiful.  Kate was staying in a hostel called Los Amigos and raved about it so, not enjoying where we were staying we went to investigate.  It is such a lovely hostel, the staff let you in by pulling on these ropes from the garden when you ring the doorbell which plays a birdie noise, you walk through various outside seating which is hidden in little cubby holes and coves surrounded by trees and moody lighting.  All the food there is vegetarian and home made.  We had a smoothie then went back to hotel to get ready for a swim in the Lake.

It was a warm evening and the lake was so warm, it didnt take me THAT long to get in.  The sun was setting and the sky looked amazing, if only we had a waterproof camera.  We decided to try and swim for the island but it was actually further than we thought, half way there we turned back, we did some rolly pollys and got out.  We had to have an early night as we were getting picked up for the Tikal tour at 3.30am!!!

So we had a shower and went for some food at Los Amigos which was gorgeous.  We met Chris (55, given up his home in Brixton for life in Guatemala), who works at the hostel.  He booked us in for the following night, in the treehouse…yipppeeee.  We later discovered that Chris was a bit of a filthy one, offering a striptease for my birthday..he was nice enough but told us stories of him taking in a prostitute, druggy who ripped him off and nearly got him arrested and bla bla bla.  I think he is genuinely a nice guy that just likes to do good for people without realising the consequences bless him.

Thursday July 17th
up with the birds at 3.20am for our lift to Tikal to witness the sunrise over the Mayan Ruins.  Luckily we got the front seat in the chicken bus which gave us a bit more room than the people in the back…but the bus was silent.

We reached the entrance where we met Lewis our tour guide, his accent cracked us up, he sounded like a Spanish Lloyd Grossman but he was very passionate about Tikal which made the tour fantastic.  As we all marched through the rainforest in the dark to the highest pyramid (4th) we heard noises that sounded like tigers or lions, it was really scary but we kept marching and we trusted Lewis!  The noises were infact Monkeys waking up when they feel the sunrise.  We climbed and climbed many many steps and finally made it to the top where we had to sit in silence to appreciate our surroundings.  I had a moment.  Lewis then took us on a tour of all the other pyramids and the Palace and the village in the hope to find some monkeys…he started making monkey noises and clapping his hands…then a monkey responded to him, then another…it was phenominal.

We could climb to the top of another pyrmaid which just had a wooden step ladder all the way to the top….there were hundreds of steps, no safety harnesses or anything, a sheer drop and the worry that we could fll on to the person below, who would fall on the person below and so on.  We reached the top, looked down at the other people who were dots, got a bit dizzy and started the decent.  Going down was definately better than going up although I did kick a girl in the head!  Our arms and legs ached for ages.

We then headed out of the Park where I chatted to another tour guide who had worked there for 25 years (i always end up with the oldies :-)) He could only speak Spanish and me only English but funnily enough we understood each other and had a great chat.  We saw a baby crocodile then went for some Guatemalan coffee before getting our return lift.

We sat in the front of the bus again and feeling more chirpy got out my phrase book and started having a laugh with our driver, Ricardo, we started off asking him his name, where he lives, how old he was…then I found the rude words page and off we went.  His little face…shock horror..it was hilarious.  We giggled and sweated all the way back to the hotel.  He liked us so much that he wanted to take us to Los Amigos, so waited for us to get our bags and drove us round there.  We asked him out for a drink and he accepted.

We checked into our lovely room in the treehouse which was just perfect, had a shower and got ready for my pre-birthday night out.  Flores doesnt have pubs as such so we had a few drinks in a restaurant which overlooked the lake where we met Ricardo.  We moved on to a livelier bar and sat outside.  We were there for a few minutes when a guy, Daniel, approached us and started telling me how beautiful i was and that he had been watching me and only came into the bar because i was in there, all very strange but he seemed nice enough.  It gave me a little boost for my pre-30 turning.  Ricardo walked us back to the hostel where we arranged to go out on a mad one for my 30th birthday the very next day.  Went to bed with Laura, all excited for my birthday treats as Laura had promised a sexy dance instead of Chris…thank the lord for that!!

Friday 18th July…MY 30TH BIRTHDAY.
Woke up all excited as im sure the postman must have been….alas no.  Laura handed me 1 envelope which had some obscenities on it.  I opened it and all these stars fell out…it was a beautiful moment.  Then for my dance, i started singing “sexy…everything about you is so sexyyyy” she did the dance without realising that the door was wide open and practically the whole of Los Amigos could see her!  It started to rain and rain and rain…as I left the treehouse down the ladder in my flipflops I skidded and went flying down the steps onto my arm and cut it. I told Laura she had to feel sorry for me as it was my birthday. (we are also having a tally over how many times we fall over,im not sure if you are a winner or loser with the most but i am currently in the lead with 5 1/2).

I wanted to get on the internet and swim in the lake for my birthday so we got ready and went on to the cafe. I had a disneyland badge that Laura gave me so i felt a bit special. I had loads of emails and facebook messages which were lovely and put a smile on my face, I also tried to contact my family via skype for them to sing Happy Birthday to me but I got 1571 at my Dads and my Nans, I couldnt speak to my Mum and my sis only had 5 minutes…out of sight out of mind :-(.

As we were sat there a rumble occured in my tummy and Lauras,she went dashing to the toilet and told me to look after her bag but 1 minute later I couldnt hold it anymore so made a dash for it too.  And here is where an over 2 week dicky tummy started, on my 30th Birthday!  We got back to Los Amigos, where we had some food and I was presented with a chocolate cake with candles and a sing song…it was so nice but we both felt so bad that we didnt go out with Ricardo in favour of an early night in the hope that there was no more rumbles in the treehouse.

Saturday 19th July
Wanting to move on to our next destination we got in a packed chicken bus to Lanquin (our bags were piled up and strapped to the roof rack).  It was still pouring with rain so was a bit miserable and Laura´s ankle had swollen up, she was told it was a Botfly bite and to stick chewing gum over the hole to smother the larvae.  I personally thought it was a reaction to a mosquito bite but could tell she was worried about it.

The chicken buses are nothing more than a mini bus but they cram way too many people into it and usually has a driver and another guy working the slidey door…this particular one had a little boy working the door and he also worked the whole bus…he was only about 12 but very sure of himself.  He stood up the whole way with his head out of the window as there was no room for him inside…until, being the charmer managed to sit on a girls lap and listen to her ipod.  The journey was a nightmare (Nanny, another one for you!) the rain was lashing down and the roads were nothing more than dirt tracks, dusty and bumpy.  We were worried we would lose our bags and had to keep checking they were still there.  After a few hours we started the decent down the mountain side to Lanquin.  Laura and I ended up linking arms for the rest of the trip as we were convinced one of us would fly out of the window.  The driver bumped down the hill so fast and without care that it was pouring with rain and that we could slip down the mountain at any time.  There were no barriers with a sheer drop and when cars passed in the other direction on a single lane he still didnt slow down!!  We closed our eyes and prayed for our safety!  We are also in the process of inventing tummy bras…say no more about that one.

We arrived at El Retiro hostel in one piece only to discover it was fully booked so the driver took us back up the hill to another dodgy hotel which had vacancies surprise surprise!  The shower and toilet were outside and freezing, there was no soap or toilet paper again..something we are now getting accustomed to.  We had a room on the 1st floor and when we looked out of the window noticed the chicken bus just below so got the driver to pass our bags up to us, which he did and which we nearly fell over board as it wasnt an easy reach, even with my exceedingly long arms.  We then met a massage therapist, who was pissed and a bit creepy, that lives in Lanquin.  He took a liking to Laura´s elephantitus and thought he would scare her a little more by telling her it may be a spider bite or something more serious.  He then called on his jungle buddy Omar Shariff who apparently said that he could suck out the poison, but personally I think Massage Man couldnt speak a word of Spanish and that Omar just invited us to a party!

The whole bus party then decided to grab some food as we had become close in the bus.  We walked up the hill to the small town of Lanquin in flip flops so with every step forward I slipped a step back.  The restaurant served proper Guatemalan delights.  You could choose either Chicken or Carne…no clue what came with it ..just Pollo or Carne.  Pollo it was and it was delicious, a lovely chicken breast with onions and peppers and a gorgeous sauce.  We paid about a pound for it and was fully fortified.  We slipped back down the hill, back to our hotel and bed.

Sunday 20th July
We got up early to beat the rush of fellow bus goers to see if El Retiro Hostel had room at the Inn.  Thinking it was just down the hill and back up a little bit we left our bags at the hotel.  5 minutes into the walk down a very steep hill we didnt know where the hostel was so I ended up asking in my very broken spanish Donde esta El Retiro Hostel por favor…AND HE UNDERSTOOD ME!! I didnt understand the response but I didnt care about that.

We got to El Retiro only to find our other sneaky bus goers already there getting all the best beds.  We ended up with hammocks but hey ho its all part of the experience.  The setting was beautiful, all these wooden cabins on stilts dotted all around the sight right next to the river (which was swollen with all the rain).  The hammocks were under cover but only the roof so we were definitely going to be at one with nature.  We went to Lanquin purely because other travellers had gone on about Semoc Champay, which is a village further up the river where there are pools and pools of clear blue water.  You can jump in an inflatable ring and have your own little rapid which takes you all the way to our hostel, El Retiro.

However, unfortunately the rain had ruined everything for us and we were told that the tour had been cancelled.  We were a little gutted but others had paid out with a different company, gone on the tour only to be really disappointed as the water was really murky, cold and horrible.  Tomorrow is a new day, hopefully.  When the rain started pouring again we were told that there was no way the tour would go on the next day either.

We opted for a tour of Lanquin Caves, the bats etall.  So we had a little swing in our hammocks, met a few of our new roomies, Heather (a very funny one from the US and not just to look at :-), (you know i dont mean it Heather if you´re reading this…much!) she had us in stitches) and Theresa (from Germany) then got ready for our tour.  Sensible footwear as the chances of us slipping in bat poo is very high…nice!  Floating down the river on nice inner tubes, checking out the surroundings or sliding around in bat poo hmmm??  Everyone bundled in the back of the worst form of transport…but not Laura and me…we quickly got in the front, after moving the drivers sarnie and settled in for a comfy ride…after taking photos of Heather and laughing at her squashed and standing up in the back we set off..it probably would have been quicker to walk…he didnt get out of 1st gear.

We arrived at the bat cave and entered.  We were shown various sites inside where the Mayans had rituals…with Coca Cola…bizarre.  Laura and I didnt like it very much as it was hard to see and soooo slippery, we nearly fell over a few times.  The guide wanted to find a spider that looks like a robot so we went on the hunt and finally found one.  It was alright but certainly not worth slipping and sliding around in bat poo for.  The time had come to witness thousands and thousands of bats fly out of the cave to hunt for food.  We get to the entrance and wait…then all of a sudden the roof of the cave turned black with the sheer volume of bats….it amazed us how they managed to avoid flying in our faces.  They whipped past our heads and ears so quickly.  It took 45 minutes for all the bats to leave the cave and that was constant…another thing that i have never seen before…it reminded us of Lost Boys!  We clambered back in the front seat, got back to the hostel and headed straight for our hammock to wrap up and get an early night.

There I will leave you for another long week…

Much love and big hugs

Amanda (30 year old) Oakley xxxx

Hola Wonderful People,

This week please sit down in your bikinis (even you nanny), pina coladas and sun glasses..in your loungers of course.

NB It may appear that this week was wasted…but we had to remain somewhere for a week for the malaria pills to kick in!

Monday 7th July
Woke up hot and bothered and annoyed that our fan didnt work.  We loved this hotel, how could they supply us with a room with a broken fan, how, how??

We went out for our free breakfast under the thatched terrace, played with the dogs for a while and complained to “green eyes” that the fan didnt work.  Laura had rib ache but when I went for a closer inspection….I do have to inspect everything and i mean everything but i wont go in to detail… I will just say that we have grown very close…I noticed 2 insane bruises and then i realised that they were from her trying to mount the boat in Tulum, she does bruise easily!

“Green eyes” checked the fan and it was fine…can you believe it was user error, we had the thing on 5 which was fast in Room 16 not in Room 13 it meant SLOW!  How were we supposed to know.  (Green Eyes is called green eyes as we dont know his name and obviously he has green eyes….i did say to Laura how funny it would be if his actual name was infact Green Eyes!!  She said she was going to ask him his name but I wasnt interested in knowing as as far as i was concerned his name was Green Eyes….his name is Marcus! im gutted).

We decided on a day on the beach to top up our tan but first i needed to phone my bank as i had no way of paying for anything.  Luckily the phone was right on the beach so whilst on hold I striped to my bikini… i was on hold for a looooooong time and still nothing had been sorted! so cut my losses and went to our usual spot on the beach.  As the sea is so warm it has been easy for me to go for a swim 3 or 4 times which would never happen normally as Tom knows only too well.  Then the thunder started and the clouds came and we both thought how amazing it would be to swim in the rain and thunderstorm!  We ran back to the hotel to drop off our valuables before the rain poured and poured, it rained so hard.  We went laughing all the way to the beach and ran into the sea.  It was one of the best experiences ive ever had.  We were splashing about and shouting. Some locals started talking to us as they thought we were mad…but it was all in Spanish, Laura swam off donning her cheap goggles and left me to it, i was stuck…I kept trying to swim away but they kept following so I ducked under the water and swam as far away as I could, popped my head back up but I hadnt got very far at all.  They were sweet enough but all I wanted to do was swim in the rain.  We got out feeling completely content and still excited.  We laughed all the way back to the hotel where green eyes thought we were nuts too.

We decided to go out for a few drinks to celebrate our great feat.  We started in the bar with swings we had a few beers and swung a bit before moving on to Senor Frogs (dare i say it!) we arrived as all these breakdancers were giving it some to Bob Sinclair! Laura noticed the bass guitarist that we had met the week before so we went over to chat to him…she still cant remember his name even though she thought he was absolutely gorgeous (Laura doesnt remember names or places very well so he shouldnt be offended).  We also met Christian the lead guitarist, wearing a bandana looking all cool!  I got dragged up to do the conga, got a free shot and had to get onstage…laura just laughed her head off at me, she calls herself a friend :-(!!   Laura left early and by that time I was quite happy to stay on my own.  I met a chap called Kirk who was an American and loved to do a bit of breakdancing and kept doing a Run DMC square up to the breakdancing boys which was quite amusing as he wasnt that good.  Then I met Hugo or Hugo met me, one of the breakdancers, he is gorgeous and kept calling me sexy Amanda and his English Girlfriend which was lovely and got me hook, line and sinker, i can tell ya.  People who know me know how i love to breakdance so i dropped to the floor to show Hugo and the others my moves as a circle formed around me…I lay on my back with my knees up whilst Kirk spinned me round.  I dont think Hugo was that impressed hehe.  I turned down Kirks offer of going skinny dipping as there was already one moon out,,,no one needed to see my full one.  I went back to Hugos as he had 7 kittens he wanted to show me, they were so cute and only 2 weeks old.

Tuesday 8th July
We went for our free breakfast then had a little walk.  We both wanted a siesta so I went to the beach for a sleep while Laura slept in the room.  We got ready for another night on the tiles, popped over to the hostel across the road for tequila and beer then to our favourite restaurant next door to have our favourite food of spag bol and fahitas and our BOGOF draught beer.  After that we headed to Senor Frogs again!  We arrived to the conga, so knowing that you get a free shot at the end we joined in!  Street Cred out of the window. We sat at the swings at the bar and waited for ages to get served….whilst we waited we got chatting to Scott and Ryan from Texas…Scott was a feeling a bit flush so bought us drink after drink after drink which we didnt complain about.  I whisked Ryan off for a boogie and he bought me a rose bless him, he was a sweetie but not my cup of tea, especially as Hugo was there!

Wednesday 9th July
We awoke in a very giggley and mischievous mood so with gusto we went to our local to try for a Leo Sayer, we had a couple and had a laugh with the bar tender.  I also noticed a sign which said GayCock which obviously made us children laugh hysterically.  Not making it to the bitter end Laura went for a lie down in the room whilst I went off to the beach.  It wasnt sunny and had a breeze so the perfect weather for a little snooze.  I reached the usual spot, lay my sarong out, and plonked myself down with all my flab hanging out… then 3 gorgeous boys approached me to let me know about ladies night at beach bar, Coco Maya…all i wanted was a little nap but oh no now all i can think about is what to wear and how hot they were!  So i gathered my stuff and went back to round Laura up for a ladies night extravaganza.

We got ready, sprayed a bit of perfume in all the right places and off we went…after a few vodkas and tequillas the flyer boy wanted to dance…it was still early and no one was on the dancefloor arrrrrr but I thought i would show the youngsters how to do it… a bit of salsa and a bit of cabbage had me hot and bothered so i retired to Laura and her fits of giggles!  We moved on to another bar where there was another ladies night and were ushered past loads of queuing people, including women, so really didnt understand what was going on but didnt really care as long as we got in and didnt have to pay…which we did get in and we didnt have to pay!  We met Maria, who we needed to help find a husband, it was a meat market in there so we all could find husbands for a night if we wanted to, luckily Hugo saved me!  Laura and I were still in our mischievous mood so we started pinching bums then looking away when they looked round…and tickling waiters armpits as they were carrying trays of drinks over their heads, we all found it highly entertaining!  As the sun came up enough became enough so we went homeward bound after a very free evening yippee

Thursday 10th July
We went to our favourite Italian place for an Italian lunch, funnily enough, the pasta was divine.  On the long walk back we ran into Pablo from the dive school, he didnt know we were back so he was pleased to see us and we had a giggle on the street.  He was going out for drinks (which was a rarity) that evening so invited us along.  Having a few hours to kill I went for another lie down on the beach in the usual spot with “Wichmond the ipod” and managed to pass out this time from 4-6pm! There was a shadow over me from the palm trees and the beach was deserted when I woke up hehe.  We got ready again and met Pablo in a lovely bar that had trees growing inside it.  Apparently it was a gringo bar but luckily they werent in there when we were there.  We had a lovely “getting to know you” session with Pablo then he had to leave to meet his girlfriend so left us to it.  We headed to Karens for a bit of nosh before heading down to Senor Frogs again!  eek!  Its cheesier than cheese there but its great laughing at people who take it seriously.  I feel sorry for the band and the breakdancers as they are there doing the same thing every single night of the week..my idea of tedious but I suppose beats an office job.  <Hugo´s kittens decided to eat my headphones, well one of them, i had to tape it up like Jack Duckworth´s glasses!  Luckily Laura has a couple of spare pairs in her mary poppins bag that im borrowing.

Friday 11th July
Had our free breakfast, we have started abusing the “either croissant or cereals” and have both.  We also have 2 cups of coffee and 2 glasses of fruit juice.  Cost saving tip coz then you dont need to buy lunch.  Headed for the beach to have a little swim and bask in…you guessed it….our usual spot for a few hours.  The sand still gets to Laura…she HATES IT which is a shame on a sandy beach so can only stand it for a few hours especially as the wind was blowing all the sand onto her sarrong today!  We went back to our lovely room, had showers and headed to what can only be described a noodle heaven, and i dont even like noodles as much as Laura.  The place was called Baby´s and the food was absollllutely gorgeous.  We then went to Scuba Playa to book our 2 dives to swim with turtles the next day.  We had an early night as we had to be up early so caught up with our chores…which consists of walking to the launderette and handing our clothes over and then going back a couple of hours later…chores of a traveller are horrendous and so time consuming!

Saturday 12th July
Woke with funny tummy as always happens before diving!  Wandered to the dive school and met our instructor, Armando which is nearly my name so he suggested marriage…Armando and Amanda a match made in heaven! We were given the pre dive drill, got all equipped and headed off.  It took about 45 minutes to reach our first dive site, Tortuga (turtle in spanish, how apt).  It was a drift dive which i was slightly nervous about having never done it before and having trouble equalising.  I was still near the surface, drifting with Armando whilst Laura and Hector were at the bottom not drifting as far…the pressure was on but finally i made it.  Drift diving is easier than normal diving as the current just takes you to where you want to go, its only when you see a turtle in another direction when you need to kick with all your might.  We reached a coral wall and there he was turtle number 1, just sitting there whilst little fish circle him trying to eat the barnacle off his back, the water was so clear you could see for about 30 metres, this is when diving feels like you are floating in air its the most amazing feeling, everyone should try it.  We saw some parrot fish, moray eels, Red Snapper and lots of other fish. The only problem is I wanted to shout out as I love to talk and wanted to say how amazing it was when no hand signal could amount to it but then getting a mouthful of water and every time you smile your mask fills up with water too!  We saw another 2 turtles swimming along and 1 more in the coral reef before it was time to surface.

The boat picked us up and we enjoyed our surface interval near Xcaret discussing what we saw down there.  We moved on to our 2nd dive site which wasnt far from Tortugo so there was another chance we could see more turtles (which are beautiful creatures).  Armando is a great instructor and pointed out some lobster, crab, fish, that we wouldnt have spotted.  We were bobbing along when I couldnt see Laura, I looked up and there she was swimming with a turtle as it was going to the surface, I could tell she was smiling, especially as she had to clear her mask afterwards.  We all got really close to a few more turtles…another highlight of my trip for sure.  We got back to the dive school and had to try and work out how to get to Guatemala as we were told that we couldnt miss Semuc Champey, luckily Armando is well travelled so he drew us a little map of how to get there cheaply.  We went to La Taberna for some food and had an early night exhausted.

Sunday 12th July
We got up, went to the internet cafe to plan our journey…which we managed to do fairly quickly and I headed for the beach as it was my last day to enjoy it.  It became overcast and I noticed loads of people gathering and staring out in to the distance taking photos.  I had a little look and there it was, a black line in the sky…it was a tornado…you could see the splashes in the water from it.  I cant really describe it but it was crazy.  I lay there like a maddun for a while then went back to the hotel to tell Laura to batten down the hatches…but it didnt come to that.

We wanted to go out with a bang so we started off with a few beers at home then meandered to the bar with the trees inside it…the bar lady was trying to convince us to buy 11 beers for a good price but we Brits turned her down.  The noodle place was shut unfortunately so we went to Karens for our last supper and we are glad we did.  The waiter massaged us then got me up to dance Salsa and I wasnt even tipsy!  Laura stayed at the sidelines laughing at my expense..again..then another diner, who i thought worked there at the time, got me up to dance a bit of Salsa.  I was passed around like a parcel at a birthday party.  Laura likes to call the locals oompa loompas, which isnt a bad description of them really.  Apart from the fact that they arent orange and dont have green hair but they are little.  One wanted me to sit on his lap and you really couldnt see him!

After all that excitement we went to the touristy shop to get some snaps of us in ponchos and sombraros, just what real Mexicans wear..hmm.  We made the shop keeper laugh and he even demolished part of his shop to get us our outfit…and took the picture.  We carried on walking down 5th Avenue and we bumped into Hugo who had just finished at Senor Frogs and was off to Coco Maya for another dancey thing…when i looked around Laura was in another shop with a stupid mask on…I didnt recognise her!  Wanting to do the same we tried on mask after mask, the shop keepers were even trying them on and posing for our pictures..they loved it.  I was Spiderman, a Wrestler and Robin…Laura was Batman, a funny girl with weird hair and a wrestler…it was so funny I think we nearly wet ourselves!  We then went back to our hotel, Laura went to bed and I ended up sitting outside at the table and chairs listening to my ipod, thinking about life…then a chap called Declan from Wales disturbed my peace and we ended up chatting until the early hours of the morning.  Anything to borrow his lonely planet of central america hehe.

There I will leave you for another week…

Take care all and I still love you all very much and miss you hundreds and thousands.

Amanda “with many disguises” Oakley xx

Hola My Lovely´s,

Hope you are sunning yourselves this week as I have been…well I have a wetsuit tan which isnt very becoming!

Monday 30th June
Got up feeling positive….i am going pass with flying colours today.  I had done all my studying and I was going to do my mask removal with no problems whatsoever.  Alberto was my new instructor, im not sure why ive had so many….i dont think they can handle me hehe, he was very patient and I started to understand the concept that you can still breath through your mouth even though your mask is full coz you dont breath through your nose..only to exhale to clear it…oh yes i got it!!  We then went to the ocean…Alberto said that we would get the exercise over with straight away so we can have a nice relaxing dive.  So I psyched myself up and off we went.  I got to the bottom of the sea, shut my eyes, took my mask off, breathed and waited for Alberto to tap me on the hand again to put my mask back on…he did I put it on exhaled through my nose and I could see again!  Bravo!! we high fived and all sorts.  Then I had a great dive and even held a water spider which looked and felt remarkably like a robotic spider.  We saw Angel Fish, Parrot Fish, Grippers, Groupers, Snappers,,,,loads it was amazing and now the love for diving kicks in!

I had my exam at 3pm which took hours to finish by the time I had done my knowledge reviews and other reviews and final exams and filled in this form and that.  I only just scraped through with 78% but then that is the story of my life.  I wasnt expecting to do remarkably well…just to pass was good enough for me.

To celebrate we decided to go to Ladies Night at the Blue Parrot Club on the beach…free drinks for ladies but you had to queue up and then you could only take one drink each, so we had to think on our feet and quickly down a very strong tequila and get a vodka and diet coke as a long drink…then queue up again and the process happens all over again.  Then the entertainment began… flame throwers,,,well i would call them flamey spinney things..it was very impressive.  About 5 guys, half naked with fire, how hot…spinning the flames to psychedelic trance all on the beach.  My camera died at the wrong time!  Got letched on by a few horrible boys then decided to go home.

Tuesday 1st July
Woke up for our free breakfast of croissants, cereal, fruit juice and coffee.  Petted the dogs, went for a walk along the beach for what we thought would be the last time.  Had a lovely ice cream and met a lovely man called Steve who thought we were hilarious.  Had our final supper at our local.  Made arrangements for the following day and had an early night.

Wednesday 2nd July
Time to leave for pastures new…we packed up our troubles in our old kit back and headed for the bus station by taxi with plenty of time….although the taxi driver took us to the wrong bus station, then the wrong bus station office, then the wrong drop off point for parcels and so it went on…until we arrived at the actual bus station 3 minutes late.  The bus had already gone without us….we had to pay an extra 50% to change the ticket for a later bus AND sit and wait in the bus station for 2.5 hours.  We have actually got used to killing time so 2.5 hours is not that much for us hardened travellers.

We finally got on the bus.  We were sat at the back of the coach near the toilet which smelt of wee for obvious reasons.  We are lucky to even have a toilet as most of the public transport doesnt have any…they dont even stop for toilet stops!  We have learned to not drink anything if we are going on a long journey.  4.5 hours later we reached Merida…yuck.

People have said that they really liked it but we didnt feel very safe there.  We arrived later than we wanted to thanks to the taxi driver so it was dark and dindgy.  We stumbled across a hotel,,,,a friendly man called Jacoba, the owner of Hotel Jacoba was easily convinced that we should only spend $15 for the 2 of us for the 2 nights (great bartering skills by us).  On closer inspection of the room we should have paid half of that again! but it was a bed for the night.  I wanted to explore a little so we went for a little mooch when Laura shouted something and pushed me out of the way.  I was about to stand on the biggest cockroach that anyone has ever seen.  It was as big as my middle finger, many of you may have seen that before so you can imagine how big it was.  From our “oh my god that is huge” comments a man from inside a shop came out to investigate…when he saw what we were shouting about he kinda said in sign language and pointing (which im now good at) that that was a normal size for a cockroach…its normal its normal…we screeched “ITS NORMAL” with that he stood on it and it made an almighty crunching noise!

With that excitement we carried on walking to the square where mexican clowns were doing a performance.  We didnt find it that funny unfortunately but it was a bit of culture all the same.  We headed back to our lovely hotel where we chatted to Jacoba for a bit then went to bed for an early night as we were going to Chichen Itza EARLY in the morning.

Thursday 3rd July
The nights sleep was horrendous, Laura´s sheet kept being blown off by the annoyingly loud fan and our toilet didnt have a toilet seat.  Got quickly ready and headed for the bus station across the road for our 7am bus.  Dos personas Chichen Itza…we boarded the bus.  We were told that the bus ride was only 1 hour so we set off, 1 hour passed, 2 hours passed (there was no toilet on this bus as it was 2nd class), 2.5 hours passed I was getting a little nervous so asked the bus driver if we were anywhere near…3 hours and a bit passed and we finally made it.  Once we arrived, 1st thing was 1st which was breakfast.  It was fairly disgusting but filled a hole as they say.

We didnt have a guide so we meandered through the ancient mayan ruins trying to get an idea of what it was like in them days.  There were pyramids (which we couldnt climb, but they were vast, so im glad in a way as it was hot hot hot), a palace, concert halls and all sorts.  There were Mayan folk selling their art and most of it was amazing and they worked on them all right infront of your eyes.  If only I wasnt away for a year…i would have bought loads of stuff.  In the end I bought a silver mayan ring which i love and managed to barter a little bit for it.  Laura wanted a bracelet so we stopped at one of the stalls and the guys started saying something about knackers so me being me started showing him what knackers in England are and teaching them plums and dangleys and boobs, they were in hysterics bless em!  Mum you are so proud arent you?? Laura ended up getting a good deal on a bracelet so we left all feeling happy.

Then it was time to wait for our return bus ride back to the hell hole…oh yippee.  The bus was late and we were tired and irritable especially knowing that it was going to be another 3.5 hours!  We finally got back to Jacoba.  I showed him my new ring, then he said do you want to see some real silver.  Obviously we did so we went into the back room where he opened his safe from the dark ages.  He brought out Palestian coins that dated back hundreds of years, when the coins were just a tiny bit of silver.  He had other coins and gems..he had real diamonds and jade and emeralds just beautiful things.  In a way that was better than Chichen Itza.

We popped out for street food (yes you heard me right, im trying) which was nothing to write home about – which is a new saying of mine…”im not going to write home about that one”  “Is that something you are going to write home about” “Do you feel the need to write home about that one” “I may write home about that” and so on.  Had an early night in our flea pit with our ear plugs in and in our sleeping sacks.

Friday 4th July
We packed up and were very thankful to leave Merida and Hotel Jacoba.  We got on a first class bus, which doesnt really mean 1st class, to Tulum.  It was a 4 hour journey and we arrived safely.  We researched in an internet cafe accomodation options and decided on Lobo Hostel, which was cheap and right near the ruins and the beach.  Perfect or so we thought.  This was basic beyond comprehension.  Lobo (a german) and his family (all Mexican) live on site, it was hot, sticky and stinky.  We were shown to our room which was a 14 bed dorm.  We had the bunk bed near the door which was the worst place possible as there were no fans pointing to us and it was right next to the communal fridges which stunk and were always being used throughout the night so you would get constant whiffs! The mozzy count was intense too.  The gang were lovely though and it really had a great community feel about it.  Alex had been there a few weeks after working on a turtle project in Costa Rica, Aaron and Rosie were travelling round the world the other way and shared some amazing adventures, Bruce was a youngy only over for a few weeks, a couple of girls that were having trouble getting to guatemala.  We all sat around in the courtyard and decided to celebrate 4th July so we had a BBQ and lots of wine.  Then a friend of the Lobo family thought it was a good idea to get out the Tequilla…uh oh.  I think it was to make us so drunk that we would sleep soundly in nightmare of a hostel.  I jumped up in the top bunk without thinking about my fellow roomies and didnt put my pajamas on so they got a full view of my full moon unfortunately…for them.

Saturday 5th July
Woke up with a sore head and bites everywhere, even my bum, i cant understand why that was tasty to them!  We had our home cooked breakfast which they meant well but I couldnt eat it..I gave it a go but left most of it.  We got our stuff ready and headed for the beach.

It was a long walk and walked us right passed the Tulum Ruins so we had a quick look and carried on to the beach.  We cut through some Cabanas and then…oh my lordy…it was the most beautiful beach either of us had ever seen.  It was deserted, white sands, blue sea and strectched for miles. Laura got some great photos of Tulum beach…it was tropical, magical.  I went for a swim, the wind picked up and covered us in sand which was a little annoying.  Then we saw Rosie and Aaron who were going snorkelling so we decided to tag along.  There were about 10 of us in Isaacs little boat, he kitted us up with some dodgey gear, took us out to the reef and off we jumped.  Laura and I swam about for a bit and played the game of seeing if we could tell if the other was having a wee.  Spotted a few fish then it was time to get onboard again….huge uh ohs.  There was no ladder and this was both of our main concerns about getting back into the boat…especially as everyone else were back onboard.  We asked if we could swim back but he wanted to take us to a few other places.  It was my turn first so i gave it a huge kick with my flippers, only to get stuck, Isaac was telling me to turn around but I dont have any strength in my arms whatsoever so that was pointless.  Then he was trying to lift me and turn me round but that wasnt happening so in the end he literally carried me and flopped me into the boat like a wet fish..there was nothing graceful about that!  Laura´s turn next but she has the added disadvantage of being well endowed so I tried to cover her up as Isaac pulled and shoved, we made it!

Isaac then took us off to see the ruins from the sea and got out his hermit shell and blew through it like a horn.  Everyone in the bay started getting excited.  We think it was a ritual that used to happen with the Mayans.  The other people in the boat wanted to go back to shore but Laura and I wanted to see more fishees so he took us off to another reef.  He said that he would take one of us at a time as if we all went we would scare the fish and we had to be like one!  I personally think it was a bit of a scam but I happily sent Laura first.

We all jumped over board and i stayed by the boat while the other 2 went off on their jaunt.  I was in the water for about 20 minutes and started to get worried for both mine and Laura´s safety…if you saw me you would have wet yourself and when i later told Laura the story she nearly wet herself.  But i started panicking and started shouting her name above the water and then thinking sound travels I decided to shout her name under the water, which isnt easy.  LLLLLAAAURRAAAA COME BACK!!!!  Then i was thinking he has killed her and then he is coming back to kill me.  Then my bikini top kept tickling my back and i thought it was a fish or a shark coming to eat me so i kept freaking out!  I started crying because i knew i couldnt get myself on to the boat.  I triedn numerous times and all i kept thinking about was that film open water! On my final attempt (after they had been missing for 45 minutes) I managed to flop myself into the boat and breathed a sigh of relief.  Then with that i saw 2 little heads with snorkels bobbing along with no care in the world.  They had seen some great fish but by that time I really didnt want to go and snorkel so I declined Isaacs offer.

He took us back to the shore and we walked back to the Lobos.  We cooked something to eat then had an early night..thinking the earlier we go to sleep the sooner we can leave the pit.

Sunday 6th July
We woke up early, got packed up, had our free breakfast and made a dash for it.  We had decided to go back to Playa as we needed to take Malaria tablets and needed to be somewhere for a week before moving further south so we got on a chicken bus which was much cheaper and took us straight to Playa we reached there within an hour.  Although the driver loved to pack us in like sardines!  We headed straight for Hotel Barrio Latino and there was “Green Eyes” to welcome us with welcome arms… i think he had missed us…we were in room 13…which should have been unlucky for some.  We settled in, got ready and headed straight for Bourbon Street for some cervezas.  Whilst we were watching the world go by a man approached us with a bunch of reeds then he started making a grasshopper, which we later named Jimini, he had a bit of a limp but I loved him all the same.  You should be able to view pics of him as he is my very special grasshopper.  I still have him so you will be able to meet him in reed when i return.  The man that made it sang me a little song as he bounced him up my arms but Laura is better at singing that than me.  We went for a cheap Italian across the road from our hotel who had run out of garlic!!!  We then went to bed extremely hot as we thought the fan had broken!

Millions of love and stuff

Amanda (Grasshopper) Oakley xxx

Hola Amigos,
 
Are you sitting comfortably for this week I would like you sat reading with a bacardi and coke and some Nachos.
 
Monday 23rd June
It was our main mission to find a diving school and somewhere decent to lay our heads so we wandered from place to place in the boiling heat and finally found somewhere lovely to stay, a hotel called Hotel Barrio Latino which was cheap, clean, secure and friendly and we could move in on Wednesday, have our own bathroom and someone to make towel animals for us everyday…yippeeeee.  We also found a great diving school called Playa Scuba after talking to a lovely man called Pablo who convinced us with his puppy dog eyes that their place was the best and cheapest.  I decided to start my Padi Open Water on the Thursday when i would be in lovely sleeping quarters.  Feeling chuffed with ourselves we went back to the hostel to get ready for the beach.  Naive invited her erratic crazy self along.  The sand white, the sea greeny/blue, the setting just amazing.  I went straight for a paddle and by crikey it was warm.  Anyone that has been on holiday with me will know it takes me an age to get into the water but in the Caribbean sea i was straight in…it was so warm and calm I could have stayed in there for hours.  We walked to the far end of the beach and basked for a few hours and had a little sleep.  Thirsty we decided to go for a few litres of beer at a very nice bar on 5th Avenue and stayed there for a while.  Naive told us about a lovely Italian restaurant that we had to try so we went back to the hostel to get changed and headed straight out for some lovely tucker.  We both had Lasagne and a lovely bottle of wine.  The location was great for people watching so we just watched and ate and drank as the sun set which was fab.  We headed back to the rubbish hostel, Naive was on the balcony getting drunk with our next door neighbours.  we joined for a quick drink then went to bed.  She went out to party on her own.
 
Tuesday 24th June
Got up earlyish for a day on the beach after exploring a little.  We stopped for some breakfast at a Natural Herbal place that did all these smoothies and lovely healthy stuff..although very hot and many flies.  We found a nice spot on the beach so swam in the sea, basked and got covered in sand which is one of Lauras pet hates.  As long as i dont have to reapply sun tan lotion im alright!  We went back to the hostel and got showered and ready for a night out.  We started in Bourton Street bar for a few beers.  Laura went to the toilet and came out laughing… it transpires that she went to the toilet and didnt much care for it as it had no loo seat but she sat anyway.  Left the bano looking at the toilet door only to discover that she had gone to the mens.  She did say that she thought it was a little odd and had that normal boys toilets aroma.  From there we went for some food at a place where you get serenaded by some marachis…which was great but very loud.  We had sesame fahitas which were lovely and a bottle of wine then set off to the next place.  As we stepped out of the restaurant Laura noticed a tall, dark figure with mad hair.  She said its Russell Brand, loving him myself I didnt quite believe it until I clocked him.  He was walking down 5th Avenue arm in arm with a blonde.  We decided to follow him, when he walked we walked, when he stopped we stopped and hid behind a bin or something…all too obvious but hey ho.  They turned back up the street again so we were hot on their tail.  They went into Bar Tequilla, where we were going to go anyway so I got my camera out, sat down and ordered a bottle of wine.  They sat behind me and I kept having to move a little to the right so Laura could keep an eye on them.  People started asking for their photos to be taken with him so we jumped up, I took a photo of Russ and Laura which was a great photo, then she took one of me and him which was rubbish as i was in the middle of telling him that i had just eaten a whole onion and to not get too close coz i probably stink…he said i smelt lovely which was very nice of him.  Laura then told him that we were travelling the world, he said now dont go smuggling anything to which i replied “only peanuts” and he laughed hehe.  He left and left his water bottle, if we were more obsessed than we appeared then we would have stole the bottle and sold it on ebay!  But we took the higher ground and remained seated and ordered another bottle of wine.  We finally got home worse for wear and passed out feeling very content with ourselves.   
 
Wednesday 25th June
Was awoken feeling very ill by Naive quoting snippets from a book she picked up about how to deal with depression…it was printed in 1977 so some of the snippets was very funny indeed and made for a good hangover cure.  Then all of a sudden rain poured and poured and poured so i jumped out of bed and stood on the balcony where i got completely and utterly soaked but it was amazing.  It was hot and very wet and came down very hard, the best!  As soon as the rain started it stopped so we went out for some breakfast then back to the hostel to pack up and ship out to our lovely hotel.  And it was lovely, it was so nice to be able to spread out a bit and unpack.  I felt sick as a dog for most of the day so we had a siesta on the beach after a few hours showered and went out to our new local for some Spag Bol and Fahitas, we had so much food and it was all so yummy and reasonably priced.  I had to be up early for diving the next day so we went for a little walk along 5th Avenue when the thunder and lightening began again so we walked down to the beach, which may have been a little dangerous to watch the thunderstorm in the nights sky.  The beach have all these double beds dotted around some of them like four poster beds so we lay and watched.  No rain just a display of light and sound….great.
 
Thursday 26th June
Got up early with butterflies in my tummy for the day of reckoning!  Laura came with me thank god coz i was nervous beyond belief.  I met my instructor, Eric, who was going to look after me apparently.  We went through the rules etc then got kitted up, which was fairly embarrassing trying to squeeze bits and pieces into tiny, tight wetsuits but I kinda liked it as it felt like I was getting ready for battle or something.  we walked to the pool as we had to do a few exercises there first before taking to the ocean.  I managed the exercises ok apart from the one where you have to let a bit of water into your mask then blow it out…i just didnt understand the concept so kept swallowing water and going to the surface for air…like a nutter!  Only to find a full on thunderstorm with immense downpour.  Poor Laura got soaked.  It was time to go for a quick wee then out on the boat for the ocean dive arghhhhhh.  Laura got to dive with me for that one so it was nice.  we had to do a back roll of the boat which I was a little nervous about but did it without hitting my head or any other part of my body.  I started to panic a little bit but Eric helped loads and i used a tow line to descend slowly, making sure I kept equalising my ears which wasnt easy.  We reached the bottom, Eric took my hand and off we went exploring.  It was a 40 minute dive but I was glad when it was over as I didnt really look out for fish I just wanted to have completed it successfully that means without dying 🙂  Feeling relieved I started to study a little bit then got ready to go out for some nice nosh.  You will notice this week that i became obsessed with Spag Bol and Laura with Fahitas so what did we eat this night…. if you said Spag Bol and Fahitas you guessed right.  The food wasnt that great but we could people watch.  I asked in perfect Spanish to use the bathroom, yes!  I didnt notice a sink so i got a little worried, went outside of the bathroom where i found the sink turned on a tap and water started trickling out of some hermit shells that were attached to the wall….very impressive.  Got back to our lovely hotel, read some more of my book and went to sleep, dreaming of diving with butterflies etall. 
 
Friday 27th June
Got up early to go to the dive school and watch chapters 1, 2 and 3 of the dive video.  2.5 hours and 12 mosquito bites later it was over.  We grabbed our stuff for a few hours on the beach then hungry we went for some Tacos from a VW camper van which was very cool.  Preparing for the following days diving, went back to the hotel and had a swing in the hammock whilst reading the Open Water Diver book, which is the biggest book ever and you have to read it and study it and know it off by heart in 3 days!
 
Saturday 28th June
Got up early again, had some breakfast with butterflies and headed down to the dive school.  Got kitted up for battle and went to the pool to go through the exercises again.  Still choking on the mask exercise but hey ho.  After a little wee we took to the ocean again.  I was still a little panicky so Erik took my hand again – bless him.  I started to enjoy diving a little more and looked out for fish although fish are a phobia of mine.  There were huge schools of fish that just stare at you so i did flinch a little.  The fish were beautiful and really colourful keeping them at a distance obviously.  I made that dive successfully and feeling a little happier.  We had our surface interval and some free biscuits and water and then headed out again.  With Eric again and another buddy called Gill, a New Yorkan know it all!  I had to do some other exercisey things like navigating away from the boat and back to it, which i have to say i was rubbish at and luckily i could see the boat so cheated.  I managed to take my mask off and put it back on again so all in all it was great.  Afterwards I was desperate for a wee, you are not supposed to wee in your wetsuit so I told Eric that i needed the toilet although he didnt know that I get stage fright and I cant wee in the sea on a good day let alone with a boat full of people waiting!.  He helped me take my wetsuit off, I tried and tried but nothing!  He even said for me to sit on his lap so I could pretend it was a toilet – which does sound pretty disgusting but it wasnt.  I still couldnt go…and the pressure mounted so much that I had to get out of the water and just hope that i could make it to sure.  It was so funny.  As soon as I reached the dive school I could go! and boy did I go. Gill wanted to take me out but I politely turned him down in favour of a few beers (BOGOF) with Laura.  We bumped into Paul and Anna who we had met a few days previously so I went to their hostel to have a few tequillas with them and beers and to discuss where they had been and where we should go.  They highly recommended Semuc Champey which is in Guatemala where you go down the river on an inner tube until you reach your hostel then you can hop off!  Sounds magical!  Lovely couple.  Slightly tipsy I walked back to my hotel to hopefully sleep off the consumption in preparation for my dive in the morning.  It was my last day and judgement day! uh oh 
 
Sunday 29th June
Had to get up early to finish off watching the videos, then got ready to dive with a different instructor, Hector (another one – not the same one as rock climbing).  I wasnt feeling that great, slightly sick so not in the best position to be going diving.  I tried to get out of it but just thought that i would pull through.  Got in the ocean and it all went wrong, I panicked, I couldnt breath properly, I was worried about my mask falling off, and i had to complete the mask removal again so it was horrendous.  Hector wrote on a slate to me under the water saying that i would fail if i didnt do it but i didnt care at that point so I wrote back!  Had a rubbish dive and was really annoyed with myself.  Put off the exam for the next day and decided to do the mask removal properly with extra guidance then too.  Went out for Spag Bol and Fahitas then had an early night to really prepare myself.  Im gonna do it I am I AM!!!
 
Lots of love kisses and hugs
 
Amanda (Like a Duck to Water) Oakley xxxx

I have been feeling a little homesick this week so much time was spent looking through photos, letters etc.  This week I would like you reading this with a nice cuppa, a burrito and a ring of fire 🙂

Monday 16th June
Woke up late again, this seems to be ongoing in Mexico, well certainly in the household we were in.  You go to bed late and get up very late, have something to eat, laze about as its too hot to do anything, have a siesta then go out for the night! We had some home made lunch of Quesadillas and salad then went to the flea market to find series 3 of Prison Break.  The flea market is so funny, it has pirated dvd and cds after pirated dvd and cds all for really cheap prices and it seems its all legal, which wouldnt happen in the UK.  We then went off to the flag pole, which is at the top of a huge hill with views of saddle mountain – the famous mountain in Monterrey.  The flag wasnt flying today but you could see for miles so it was pretty impressive but very hot up there.   Patty then wanted to take us to Santa Lucia which is a fairly new manmade waterway made for the tourists.  They have these ferries, which look more like sinkable tin baths but quirky that go up and down the waterway.  It was still quite hot out so we decided to put off the trip down the river for an evening thing so we sat and had a few drinks listening to some live music.  It had a great atmosphere.  Patty had to work so James, Laura and I went off to the cinema.  James wanted to watch something about people commiting suicide but the girls wanted to watch something a little more lighthearted so we watched Zohan…which actually made us laugh a few times.

Tuesday 17th June
Another lie in but we had to get up and out as their cleaner wanted to clean our room so we went off to Pattys parents for lunch, it was another gorgeous home cooked feed.  Pattys parents laughed as they were telling us what we were like in Taboo on the Saturday night.  Apparently Patty couldnt spot us but all of a sudden her dad would say “there they are” as all you could see was Laura and my arms in the air with our drinks, beads round our neck, chatting to the crowds oh and my blonde hair – very funny.  James had to do some 1 on 1 English lessons in a drinking establishment and the guy wanted to meet some other fellow brits so I decided to go along with him.  He was a lovely chap called Eduardo who really loved the English language, which was lucky as its the only language i can speak and even thats debateable.  We had a laugh about the mispronouncible words like coke and cock, beach and bitch…its very confusing and all the different words for using the bathroom facilities.  He bought us a few beers and the most amazing Nachos I have ever tasted then gave us a lift home.  James and I carried on with a few more beers and at 1am invited the next door neighbour Hector over.  Another lovely chap from Tijuana who hasnt really got much of an existence apart from studying and rock climbing, which i suppose isnt all bad considering the mountains are something else.  I invited myself to go rock climbing with him and to even borrow his shoes so i think we bounded quite well.  We listened to muchos sasha and digweed then I finally said time and went to bed.

Wednesday 18th June
Another lazy day watching Rome and doing our washing but in the evening we were meeting up with their friend Rolando and his bodyguards to go to Santa Lucia.  Rolando is in his late 20´s and is part of a very wealthy family so needs protecting 24/7 which I would find annoying but he seems to accept it.  Its just so funny that he came in our car with us but we were constantly followed by these burly men that even protected us.  They even had to come in the tin baths with us – bless them.  Rolando knew a great Italian restaurant that opened just for him and us.  He placed the order which was delicious home cooked italian pasta and copious amounts of fizzy red wine which was easily supped.  Juan Carlos joined us who was being hounded by a model who phoned so Rolando kept feeding lines to Laura who would repeat them on this walky talky type service on the mobile.  Laura didnt realise what she was saying to the poor girl but it had a lot of Puttas in it which we later discovered wasnt a nice word.  The girl even said how lovely Lauras accent was through all the insults….how lovely. We had a great evening and Rolando even picked up the tab which was very very nice of him.  We played a few games of guess the movie or guess the title of the song and whiled away a few too many hours until it was seriously passed bed time.  I love unplanned evenings like that they certainly make the trip.

Thursday 19th June
Got up at 10am to knock up Hector to go rock climbing, he wasnt there so I went back to the house to have some breakfast.  There was a knock at the door so I answered it, thinking it was Hector and everyone was obviously still in bed!  A little lady was speaking Spanish really quickly at me saying something about “plancha” so leaving the door open ajar, I excused myself and went to get my phrasebook!  She was still at the door, calm and collected, I found the word she was using which was ironing so knowing that they already had a cleaner declined her services.  Chuffed with myself for speaking a pekenyo of Spanish tried Hector again.  He was there this time so I played with his dog for a bit, there was no furniture, not even a kitchen and he kept smoking bong after bong so i presumed we were not going rock climbing today!  After having a lovely chat with him I went back to the house in hope that the sleepers would be awake.  Laura was so we went and watched Rome for a bit then Patty awoke hungry so we ordered a torta to be delivered.  When I went to pay I realised that I couldnt find my purse, I looked and looked but knew that it had been taken by the lovely cleaning lady that I had been so chuffed with!  She must have come into the house whilst I was fetching my phrasebook, taken my purse from my bag and remained on the doorstep until I said that we didnt need her services!  I really dont know why I left the door open ajar, it was my own stupidity and im glad nothing of Patty and James was taken. So she has my driving licence, a few days budget, my bank card and my YHA card the lucky thing.  And I have the hassle of organising replacements but these things only make you stronger so I have learnt a huge lesson.  Never answer the door in Mexico and if you do make sure you shut it again straight away!  We ate our tortas with a slight bad taste in our mouths and knuckled down to some more Rome.  Laura and I decided that we would cook a meal for our hosts to thank them for putting up with us so we bought all the ingredients for a glorious feed.  Sweated in the kitchen, cooked up a treat, ate it with Matute at our heels and then watched more Rome and more Rome until it was time for bed.

Friday 20th June
Food Poisoning day!!  Laura and I had woken a few times throughout the night with bad, horrendous tummy aches, taking it in turns to use the bathroom.  Patty said that James was feeling equally as rough so we assumed the it was the tortas from the day before.  Patty was a great nurse and dosed us up with medication after medication and looked after all of us.  She has an iron stomach that one.  We spent the day shivering, in the toilet or on the sofa watching Rome – we had 3 series to get through after all, so it was the perfect excuse.  None of us was feeling up to going out that evening, not even James and he lives for the weekends so you guessed it…we just sat on the sofa and finished all 3 series of Rome.

Saturday 21st June
Woke up early to go Rock Climbing with Hector, he was late again..soooo late and the sun started beating down so what with my illness still rumbling I didnt fancy it that much…so sent him away so I could be by the bathroom and on the sofa watching Rome.  Wow this is what I came to Mexico for.  It was our last night so we wanted to build up our strength for our big last night.  I went to get showered and changed and realised that my denim skirt, 2 tops, toothpaste and hairstuff were all missing and I hadnt seen them since James´ cleaner had been there on the Tuesday…Oh no not again!  Change of wardrobe and off we went.  James still wasnt feeling up to a night out so just the 3 gals went out.  We went to Rolandos house to play Rockband on the Xbox, which i have to say i was rubbish at.  We took it in turns to play the guitar, drums and sing.  I lost on all accounts.  I am never going to famous for being in a band…sorry guys!  From there we went to some arty guys house where minimal was his middle name.  Oh my lordy, he had no furniture but he had alot of money so im presuming he liked it that way….his kitchen was bright lime green too..the walls, ceiling and cupboards yuck. Laura and I wasnt feeling it because everyone was speaking Spanish but they did give us some tips on where to go next in there broken english and finger pointing…I am getting very good at that.  The 3 amigas decided to head off elsewhere so Taboo here we come.  I love that place and today they had very saucy men stripping.  A few were wearing seriously high stilettos, stockings and corsets, they looked amazing.  A bald man was wearing a playboy bunny outfit.  It was a definite eye opener although my attention was mostly on the stripping boys.  We were in the VIP area having our pints of vodka and cranberry when Patty´s mum came to see us and she brought the lovely stripping men with her!  oh crikey!  We turned into a couple of gooey messes.  We decided to mingle with the people where a lovely chap came up to me and said “you are blonde, you are tall, you are beautiful” which i thought was quite sweet but he didnt look at my face so I didnt feel that loved.  I forgot to say that when we went to Taboo the first time this short rotund lady said to me “lesbian” and i said “no ingles” which got a few laughs when I told the story to Patty and James later.  Anyway it was time to go so we thanked Pattys parents for looking after us so well and hot footed it home.  It was 6 in the morning afterall and we had a flight to catch.  We did make some noodles (Lauras favourite food) when we got back home though.

Sunday 22nd June
Slept in…..zzzzzzzzzzz until 1pm ish.  Our flight to Cozumel was at 3pm so we packed up, made some lunch, booked our accomodation in Playa del Carmen, said our goodbyes to Matute and set off for the airport.  We said our goodbyes to Patty and James who were perfect hosts and queued up for the annoying process of check in.  Instead of a scanner system, staff had to open every single bag to check them, not sure what they are looking for.  Dont they realise that it took Laura to stand on my bag to close it argh!!  Luckily they have to close the bags after they open them so it was their problem hehe.  Then we went to scan our hand luggage.  They stopped laura and kept sending her back through and through again and unpacking her bag and sending that through.  They were puzzled and we were there for a good 20 minutes.  It transpires that it was probably her metal knife, fork and spoon set!  The departure lounge didnt have much but we still managed to pass the time.  We had incredible wind which made us giggle like children for many a minute.  The flight was similar to Easyjet so it was a free for all and as per usual we were pushed to the back as we didnt have a clue what was going on.  Laura and I didnt get to sit together but i didnt mind as she got the annoying child that kept blowing a whistle and i got peace and Klondike.  We arrived in Cozumel where we were ushered on a little bus that took us to the ferry terminal…we needed a ferry to take us to Playa del Carmen.  There wasnt a ferry until 10pm so we contemplated getting some food but there was no atm so we just sat and felt sorry for ourselves for a bit.  We walked up to the port and as we checked our bags in the same annoying kid was there blowing his whistle so we couldnt get away!  We were wondering whether his mother would miss him if we simply elbowed him off the side or failing that just shove the whistle down his throat.  We boarded the ferry and made our way to the complete opposite end of whistle boy (who was still living and still blowing the whistle, so we failed both attempts).  The crossing was HORRENDOUS…choppy as anything and we both really needed to concentrate hard just so we didnt vomit.  It was the longest 30 minutes of my life but we made it.  Collecting our bags was another task in itself.  Its such a funny system where everyone crowds round, the bags get thrown off the ferry and you have to catch them, match your ticket up, get someones attention then fight the crowds to get out.  This is all very close to the waters edge that has no barrier so its a bit scary.  We got out of there unscathed and went in search of our hostel – Maria Sabina.  It was just off the main strip but nothing to write home about (although here i am writing home about it).  The room had 2 bunk beds and no room to swing a money spider.  The door had fallen off my locker but i managed to bodge it together.  It had a bathroom and a balcony which was nice and air con but a fan that could decapitate Laura – if it was ever turned on that was.  we met our roomy Naive, an Irish mature lady who was a very angry sculptor we later found out.  We dropped off our bags and went for something to eat at Karens, it was about 11:30 by this point though!  We had some Fahitas then went to bed.

Lots of love
Amanda (Fluent Spanish Speaker) Oakley xxxxx

Hello All, 
 
This week you need to be reading this with bleached blonde hair, false nails and a boob job……
 
Monday 9th June
Captain Mick picked us up for our 2 hour drive to Los Angeles.  He had to drop off his belongings somewhere near LA to be shipped home to Oztrailia so we squeezed into a very packed pick-up truck and set off on our mini adventure.  We decided to go with no map as it adds to the excitement and boy were we excited at finding LA, Hollywood Boulevard (the stars) and the HOLLYWOOD sign.  Luckily Mick was driving, as if it was Laura and I im not sure we would ever have made it.  Hollywood isnt all that to be honest and there were a few tourists checking out the stars that go on and on and on (i expected them to be all shiny and polished but oh no they were filthy.  We walked down Hollywood Boulevard taking photos of a few of our favourite names like Brocolli for Nanny, Fred Astaire, Fleetwood Mac, Tom Jones, Jimi Hendrix and so it goes on…check out my photos for the special ones.  In the boiling heat we then decided to go to Graumans Chinese Theatre which is well known for having famous actors, actresses etc hand prints in the cement outside.  George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the Harry Potter cast, Samuel L Jackson so I got snap happy there too.  It all got a little crazy with street entertainers so we made a swift exit in search for some well earned lunch. But then noticing the Hollywood sign made us forget about lunch to go on the hunt for the hill.  We drove up this tiny lane and another one and another one til we saw it in the very distant distance…we jumped in the back of the pickup and zooooomed to take a good pic.  This lovely man (could have been an actor) walked past and told us of a better spot to drive to to take a better pic so off we went.  Up this hill, down another hill, round this bend and that until there it was right in front of us…well a bit higher than that.  We did the touristy thing and posed in front of it and then set off down this hill and that hill and round this bend and that bend in seach for an Italian restaurant that Dennis told us about.  On the way down we were shouting out that we saw Halle Berry, Winona Ryder, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Whoopi Goldberg everytime we saw a nice car with someone looking a bit familiar but then Bruce Willis pulled out in front of us with his little pooch in the car…we followed him for a bit but we didnt get any pics unfortunately.  After all that excitement we found the Italian restaurant, ate a lovely meal then went to Rodeo Drive, Beverley Hills baby….all designer shops and fancy cars, very nice and much more upmarket than LA and Hollywood.  We got back to Dennis’ at 9ish and had an early night.
 
Tuesday 10th June
Back at Dennis´ we needed to have another chill out day so we kicked back by the pool again, listening to the ipod and having a little swim…the life of a traveller is so so tough!  Dennis was out for the night so we had an evening of watching movies, catching up on washing, trying to plan our next stage of the journey and had another early night.
 
Wednesday 11th June
We got up and Dennis had promised to buy us the best donuts in all the world.  Im sure he thought we were mere starving travellers as he bought practically the whole shop but we feasted on donuts and coffee.  Hyper from all the sugar we took Bonnie for a walk to give Dennis some peace.  Bonnie is a very scared pup so we were a bit nervous about taking her and thought that she could easily slip out of the lead so panicked the whole time we had her so Dennis came to pick her up and take her home.  We carried on the walk down to the beach and sat and watched all the surfers and the world go by.  The tide was coming in quite rapidly so on the walk back to dry land i noticed some discarded flip flops which were my size and as i had to get rid of my favourite pair I half inched them!  Well it wasnt stealing , merely taking them to a good home.  As it was our last night at Dennis’ he wanted to take us out so to prepare us for Mexico we went for a Mexican.  The food was delicious and the margaritas was equally as delicious…i got a little tiddly to say the least.  We went to a really dodgey bar that wasnt far off an English Pool Club, to play pool and have a few more drinks.  It was a really nice evening.  We had to get up at 6am to catch our flight so went to bed a little giddy.
 
Thursday 12th June
I woke up with a hangover…not good on a travelling day but hey ho.  Dennis took us off to the border San Diego/Tijuana.  We were not looking forward to this trip but it wasnt so bad.  We walked across the border to Tijuana with no troubles at all and there wasnt even anyone on immigration or anything..very bizarre.  We didnt even get our visa taken off us or given a stamp to enter Mexico!  We walked with a Spanish couple who said that they would help us get to the airport as they were going there too…which was very nice of them.  We jumped in a taxi and away we went to Tijuana Airport.  We were flying to Monterrey with a change at Mexico City.  The flight was budget but not too bad.  We had a couple of hours to kill in Mexico City airport which was mainly taken up by trying to work out the currency…i bought a horrible pollo burger from Mcdonalds! I didnt eat it.  It then took us even longer to try and find our next flight.  We made it and again the flight was budget but we got there ok – we were even given some food.  My friend James met us at Monterrey airport and took us back to his pad where we were staying for a few days.  His house is so nice, set in a huge mountain range.  There is a poor area below where they live but he has security and a little pup, Matute.  Paty, James wife came home early from work as she had had a fall, it was nice to meet her finally.  We had a few Cervezas and had an early night in our own room with air con and comfy beds.
 
Friday 13th June
We woke up late, had a shower then drove over to Paty’s parents house to meet James and have some lunch.  They have a cook so it was all ready for us and the food was true Mexican and delicious and we didnt have to wash up.   We were shown around their house, which was amazing then went for a little tour of Monterrey before going back to the house for a siesta before our big night out.  No one goes out in the evening until about 10pm so it was already a late one for Laura and I!  Paty and her mum sing in a restaurant on friday evenings so James, Vera, Charlie (James next door neighbours), Laura and I popped along for some cervezas, tapas and a sing song…although it was all in Spanish so we didnt sing that heartedly.  Paty finished at 12am, he parents own a gay club called Taboo so we went there for a bit of a boogie and VIP treatment.  We went to the back room where drag queens were getting and they all gave us some beads to wear around our necks, which weighed us down.but we still managed to dance the night away and get a bit of a name for ourselves as we walked through the crowds.  We finally got home at about 6am!
 
Saturday 14th June
UH OH! We started off ok then I happened to be a little bit sick and Laura laughed then all of a sudden she was sick and she didnt stop ALL DAY!  And night.  James, Paty and I went next door for some pasta which Vera and Charlie cooked for us at about 10pm, then ready to go home Paty and James said that there was a house party that we need to go to..ouch.  I made it without falling asleep so that was good. A famous news reader for some Mexican channel was there and he was delicious…unfortunatly his girlfriend was there too!!  We got home at about 5am again after a really lovely evening.  House parties are very different to the uk ones.  It wasnt raceous just a really nice chatty evening – although i couldnt understand most of it as it was in Spanish,
 
Sunday 15th June – Fathers Day. 
Laura felt a little better but we still didnt get out of the house until about 3pm.  James drove us through the mountain range which was just stunning and went on for miles.  We drove until we reached a dirt track so we turned back after jumping out of the car every so often to take a photo and getting beeped at by naughty Mexicans.  We were meeting Paty at her parents house as she took her dad for a fathers day lunch.  Its tradition that you have to say Happy Fathers Day to every father on fathers day which is a nice tradition.  To escape the heat Paty took us to the mall where we stuffed our faces with ice cream and they bought a mini fridge for beers a plenty.  We went back to the house and watched a few Prison Breaks, 3rd series which is brilliant and had an early night.   
 
Arriba Arriba…sorry im doing my best.
 
Hope you are all ok, lots of love and missing you all tons
 
Amanda (Michael Scofields soon to be wife) Oakley x x

Hello All,
 
This time please read sitting comfortably with a choc ice…
 
Sunday 1st June
We checked out of our lovely motel to head for San Diego, well Solana Beach which is fairly near, to meet up with Dennis, a friend Laura met in London, who was looking forward to putting us up for a few days.  We boarded the train from Anaheim to Solana Beach playing Klondike all the way.  We reached our destination after telling Dennis what time we would arrive….we waited and waited and waited and waited… a whole 45 minutes (telling the story throughout our stay the wait time was obviously extended to about 4 hours!).  After a bit of abuse he loaded up the car and off we went.  On the drive back he told us how great this restaurant was and how awesome that bar was…promising to take us to all of them…hurrah.  He lives in this neighbourhood called Cardiff Bay, a guy from Wales built it and named all the roads after cities in Great Britain, ahh felt like home.  He wanted to show off his English friends so invited the neighbour and her small insane child, his ex wife (Betsy), his 2 children (Dane and Riley), his other neighbour, his friend Charlie and random other people he bumped into along the way.  So we had a big bbq with red wine and nibbles.  It was a really lovely evening.  By the end of the evening Betsy wanted to introduce us to other people she knew who would show us a good time…one being Captain Mick (more of him later).  I was on the sofa bed and had a great nights sleep.
 
Monday 2nd June
Woke up to coffee smells and music playing, Dennis had been busy.  He had to go off to LA overnight later so took us for a drive in my pjs to show us the walk to his complexes pool.  Laura drove back and we got there in one piece so all good.  We all had breakfast then Laura and I took off for the pool.  It was deserted as mainly families live there and were all at school or work…not us 🙂  We topped up our tan, listened to the ipod, splashed around in the pool for a good few hours then headed back to an empty house.  We unpacked a little, had baths, did washing, cooked some nice food, had a bottle of wine and settled down to watch a film.  Another restful evening.
 
Tuesday 3rd June
Awoke all fresh, packed up a little lunch and headed for the pool for day 2.  We had our little spot up there and a routine now so it was very relaxful.  I managed 40 lengths so I felt better having done a little bit of exercise.  Laura tried to rescue a bee from drowning but unfortunately she was too late.  Dennis had organised for us all to go to a George Clinton gig later that evening so we invited Captain Mick and cooked Daddy (Dennis) a meal for his return home from the office.  We had an aperitif and Daddy had about 3 helpings and off we went.  We nearly werent allowed in when we forgot our passports or id so the bouncer asked me a few quick fire questions about when and where i was born and how many fingers he was holding up and we were in!  Phew!  we finally met the infamous Captain Mick, who wasnt really a captain at all.  He was a mechanic.  He did have an amazing job though that he had quit that week.  It was a crazy night and George Clinton is a nutter.  Apparently he is a crack addict so was late on due to having a quick smoke but his band made up for it.  It was wicked, really funky and when George came on he really got the crowd going.  He is 70 odd and has the maddest hair.  It was a corker of a night and had such a good dance.  It had been a while.  Got home and crashed out.  Laura woke up fully clothed and covered in pringles.  I think me and Dennis crushed loads all over her but im not at liberty to divulge such information.
 
Wednesday 4th June
Hangover day!  Dennis had work to do so Laura and I piled in his massive bed.  He promised to make us a fry up so went off to buy products, came back and burnt everything so we ate black sausages, eggs, bacon, hash browns, tomatoes.  We stayed in bed allllll day watching National Lampoons and this channel all about crime and car chases and stuff.  Had us hooked.  Dennis went out that evening so we slobbed some more until he came back with some pizza and a few beers…which we ate in bed.  Luckily the weather was rubbish so it wasnt a day wasted.  We even slept in Dennis´bed so he got the couch.
 
Thursday 5th June
Dennis wanted to take us on a “hike” well what Americans call hikes.  Which is merely just a walk but it was nice all the same.  We met up with Captain Mick and went on a hike to Torrey Pines which is beautiful.  From the hilltop you can see for miles.  There are all these paths that lead to a different view and a different path.  Dennis said that he knew where he was going but we personally think he was blagging somewhat as he kept running off then coming back and changing direction!  It reminded Laura and I of the sponsored walk at school on Woodbury Common, the dustiness and gorseyness.  We then headed down to the beach so that we could have an unavoidable paddle as the tide was coming in.  Unfortunately there wasnt time to take our shoes off either but hey ho.  We clung onto rocks until Dennis shouted “now now now run for your lives” then jumping for another rock until he shouted again! As we got to a wider stretch of beach a policeman approached us and asked us if we had seen any naked people…we answered “sadly no”.  Apparently that is an offence…i wouldnt have been offended…unfortunately the end of the walk meant we had to climb a long windy road in the blistering heat but best foot forward and we made it.  We decided to treat ourselves for the good effort so went to Bullys for a bottle of wine and some food.  Once we got that sip we didnt want it to stop so went to a lovely bar right on the waters edge.  You couldnt see the water as it was dark but the ambience was there.  There had been a baseball game in San Diego and Dennis knew a bar that overlooked the arena (or whatever a baseball pitch is called) so off we went.  The game had finished by the time we got there but we had a good view of inside the arena from about 20 floors up so that was nice.  The bar had a pool and great music so we were happy there.  There was an after party at a guy called Cameron’s house so we tootled off there until about 6am!  Ouch
 
Friday 6th June
Was a total right off!  Woke up feeling absolutely rubbish and just wanted to sleep more but Betsy was going away for the weekend and said we could stay at her house.  Dennis took us over there.  We basked in the garden for a bit, took the dog for a walk until i remembered that I left the kettle boiling on the stove and whistling away so I had to go back pretty pronto.  Went shopping, had baths and an early night!
 
Saturday 7th June
Again we just lazed around and caught up on emails and washing and basking and hot tubbing and defuzzing.  Laura made some tremendous garlic bread..there was no way any vampire was coming near us that day or night or next day.
 
Sunday 8th June
Captain Mick picked us up and took us to the Fiesta del Sol, they have live music and market stalls with arty stuff.  A Salsa band came on to which a very aged man got up and boogied his little heart out.  He was riding the pony and all sorts.  There was definitely alot of life left in the old dog yet.  Very fun to watch.  Mick then took us off to a Hells Angels bar called The Kracken.  We were a bit scared to be entering in our bermuda shorts at first, especially as there were cowboys doing line dancing and were probably carrying pistols but after a couple of Sierra Nevadas we were happy as larry.  Chatting away to the locals.  Out the back they were having a bbq where they were smoking all kinds of fish and just handing it out.  The fish was fresh from the sea so it was beautiful and perfectly cooked.  We hung out with the guys and checked out there bikes and leathers then went home for an early night as we were off to LA the next day.
 
Thats me for this week….
 
Lots of love
 
Amanda “Charlies Angel”  Oakley xxxxx

Hello All,  You must all read this one with 1 lip raised in an Elvis style – not that we saw him coz of course he is dead 😦

Sunday 25th May
530am we were woken by Paul getting all excited so we got up and changed for the long drive ahead.  It was going to be atleast 7 hours.  We had to make sure we had plenty of water too as its all desert and apparently you might not see a car for days!  uh oh!  We could die on our way to Vegas (well we havent as you know as i am typing this!).  The sat nav was taking us all the way but infact it got us a little lost from time to time – down a single lane dirt track – which would be our equivalant of a country lane but here there are no such thing so we turned around.  We went through lots of towns that were built during the Gold Rush but have been deserted since so it was a little eerie.  We had a few wagers on the way to break up the journey a little…how many miles to the horizon? how many miles to that brown thing?  how many miles to civilisation?  that kinda thing.  Joanna kept winning – she is good!  We thought nothing of shouting 26 miles – we could seriously see that far ahead.  The roads were completely straight and deserted.  You had to put your lights on in certain places because of the reflection on the roads.  We stopped quite a few times at sketchy places for toilet stops and for Ryan to get food.  Then we saw the signs for Vegas, we were nearly there.  You could see the stratosphere in the distance – everything seemed so big even from that distance let alone up close.  VIVA LAS VEGAS we had arrived!!  We pulled up to our hotel – Hooters hehe – parked the car and the boys went to check in.  Paul had booked under the 2 of them but the room was for the 5 of us so we were being a bit cheap.  We couldnt go to our room until 4pm so we had a few hours to kill, so we had a few pitchers of very expensive beer and it slowly sunk in where we were.  Our room was really nice – on the 15th floor and overlooked the pool and the airport.  Apparently Gordon Ramsey flew past in his helicopter but im sure he is doing a series of Kitchen Nightmares at the moment.  We got spruced up and met the boys downstairs…we had been even cheaper skates as we bought some wine and the boys had bought a bottle of bacardi so we could top up empty bottles of beer – a dollar saved is…. a dollar saved.  First stop the bar downstairs, we had some food if you can call it that which consisted of chicken wings and fries – I cant live on this food for much longer.  I decided that I was going to get married whilst in Vegas so it was my hen night which included trying to find a husband I like to put pressure on myself.  We then headed for MGM Grand which was just across the road from Hooters.  There was an enclosure with some Lions in it and it was the last show for the evening so we watched that.  The tamer ruffled one of the lions mane and everything – he had done his job of taming there.  Luckily the have a house out the back so they arent on show all the time.  The casinos dont really do it for me so we didnt gamble – only to pretend to get our free drinks 🙂  We went to a bar in the centre of MGM where we were sat at the bar then all of a sudden the barmen got ontop of the bar and started strutting their stuff – hello!!  I didnt swallow for atleast 8 minutes.  We then went off to New York New York, which has the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge and New Yorks Skyline, across a bridge between MGM and NY NY where you can see the whole of the strip all lit up – very impressive.  We came across an Irish Bar that had a live Irish Band so we got some pints of guiness and got on the dance floor.  We got flung about which was great fun.  My flip flop then broke for the 4th time so Laura and I left the rest to it – it was 3am so didnt feel too bad about it 🙂  Laura nearly killed me on the way back by legging it across a road where the hand was flashing and I had no shoes on so I ran after her with all my might screaming all the way – i made it fortunately for her.  Laura and Joanna were sharing a bed, Paul and Ryan were sharing a bed and I was on the floor so I made up my bed and settled in for the night.  1 hour later Paul and Joanna came back….1 hour after that Ryan came back…

Monday 26th May
Its a hot day! Woke up at 1030 apparently Joanna and Ryan had gone back down to the bar at 5ish and came back around 630 so no wonder they were moaning and groaning – the crazy pair.  Paul, Laura and I went down for breakfast which consisted of ham and cheese sandwich and fries – not my ideal breakfast but hey its food.  The stragglers later followed, Ryan had seen not 1 but 2 Elvis’ in Mcdonalds the night before!  I didnt find my husband either but today is a new day and Vegas isnt over yet.  The 3 of us sat by the pool waiting for the other 2.  There were quite a few body builders and preened barbie dolls to hold our attention.  A woman even striking poses by the pool for her new husband with a thong bikini on and she kept bending over – which wasnt nice.  It was nice for Paul though.  We then headed down the strip oh lordy its huge and goes on forever!  We came across an ice bar where we bought a pina colada/strawberry ice drink thing with about 8 shots of Tequila in it and comes in one of those 1/2 litre bottle (like the ones you do a yard of ale from).  Tequila and it wasnt even lunch time uh oh. It tasted delicious though.  We carried on walking to Planet Hollywood where inside there is a lieteral mile of shops, we stopped at another bar then we went on to the Paris hotel/casino (not sure what its called) but it has the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triumph outside.  You can actually go up the Eiffel Towel but we decided not to especially as we can go up the real thing for real.  Paul started playing Craps, he did explain how you play it but it got a little confusing so I hung around for the free drink instead.  This lady kept whooping so I guess she was winning or drunk.  The girls decided to leave the boys to it so we took a slow walk back to “the ranch” stopping to get another one of those frozen Pina Colada and Strawberry drink things with Vodka this time.  Henry, our friend from Seattle, was in town so he was coming out to play.  We quickly got showered and ready and met him downstairs where we pretended to play some slots for some free drinks.  We had a few then moved on to Tropicana to hope for more free drinks but alas no – i dont think the lady liked the look of us or she had seen our kind before.  Henry’s sister works in a bar/club along the strip where we could get more free drinks so we went there – it was the Hawaiian Tropics bar where the waitresses had to walk along a catwalk high up in their bikinis and introduce themselves – its a mans world in Vegas!  We sat outside on sofas in the heat, chatted and drank before heading to Blondies through a mall that looked like we were outside in the daytime, most bizarre.  There we met up with Paul and Ryan who had passed out earlier for a few hours in a drunken stupor to wake up for their second wind.  We played a few games of beer pong I was with Joanna and we were playing against Laura and Henry.  We were winning at first but then we decided to lose as to lose you are really a winner coz you get to down all the drinks then the leftovers that we didnt hit.  We also had squelchy feet as they kept hitting the cups off the table – what a waste!  We then wanted to go to Coyote Ugly so we hot footed it to McDonalds hoping to see Elvis but alas no.  On the way to NY NY we walked past some boys racing on the electric disability cart things on 2 wheels and doing jumps – it was funny.  My flop flips (which i called them at the time) broke again… I was forced to part with them, they were literally ripped from my arms, they have been with me for so long but I said my goodbyes and left them by a trash can in Ny Ny hoping that someone would see them and love them as much as I did – I still do – I miss them!  Which obviously meant that I had to walk all over Vegas bare footed although there are many weirdos in Vegas so I didnt feel too out of place.  No one wanted to carry me home either I wonder why??  On the walk back some dude in a jeep called me “mama” – is he calling me fat…. and black…?? I was hoping it was a term of affection.  Got to the front door of Hooters with no foot fatalities only to be told by the doorman that I couldnt get in without shoes on – uh oh.  I told him I lived there, he said he knows but what if I get a splinter – not a SPLINTER!! I told him I wouldnt sue.  I had to avoid the wooden flooring which was most annoying as most of the floor was wood – a long jumper would have been proud.  We decided to sit by the pool to drink our final vodka and wait for sunrise…and I thought it was a good idea to wash my feet in the pool as they were D.I.R.T.Y so dangled them in there until it felt like they were about to fall off.  Finally got to bed to daylight 🙂

Tuesday 27th May
We got up and went to the infamous Rainforest Cafe for brunch.  That was an experience.  The waitress told us that the animals come to life ever 15 minutes and thunder and lightening go off every 30 minutes.  I was a little bit miffed as I expected something a little more spectacular.  I think it was mainly for the kids though as every time the thunder roared and the lightening flashed they covered their ears and screamed their little heads off.  The food was delicious and im glad I went.  We wanted to book a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon so we looked everywhere for a good deal.  We went back to Hooters and met Dane, a very helpful man, who told us that a plane ride over the Canyon was cheaper, much cheaper so we booked for that in the morning for sunrise – the bus was picking us up at 330am! ouch.  Knowing that, we decided to have a fairly tame evening.  The 3 nutters, Paul, Joanna and Ryan went off for more drinking so Laura and I walked up to see the infamous Bellagio water cannon display.  It is definitely something to be seen…completely amazing.  Its hard to explain but the water cannons shoot up with a light display in time to music.  They go off every 15 minutes to different music and a different display each time.  Its specatacular.  We then wandered down to Treasure Island where the next show was about to start so we climbed up on a high wall to get a good view. A pirate ship with scantily clad women captures a bloke from another boat and they sing to eachother and throw cannons at each boat until the boat with all the men on sink 😦  When that excitement was over we went to meet up with the other guys who were at the Wynn watching another light/water display.  A completely different kind of show and equally as stunning.  We stayed there for a few strawberry mojitos then, as it was getting late, Laura and I decided to walk back to the ranch for an early night.  We stopped off at Earl of Sandwich for a splendid sarnie and got back for 12!!  How did that happen??!!  Settled down then all of a sudden the drunkards came back to wake us up.  Ryan and Paul went out again so the girlies could get some sleep but then they came back again and annoyingly woke us up at 3am!

Wednesday 28th May
We got ready and went to meet the bus outside..there were still people out from the night before as you can imagine and Joanna was still a little drunk.  We finally got to the airport and boarded our rickety plane that only holds 11 people, all window seats.  Scary as it was the pilot was very good and it didnt feel to unsafe.  We were given a stupid headset so we knew where we were flying over but it was rubbish and you couldnt hear a word.  We went over Hoover Dam, but it was Lauras side so I couldnt get any good snaps, although from what I saw of it it was impressive.  We continued the journey to the Grand Canyon – desert like mountains that go on forever.  I was too busy taking photos to really take it all in which is a shame but check out the photos – when I upload them.  We missed the sunrise and then on the way back I think most of the people on the flight fell asleep.  I woke up to touch down and it was quite a smooth one.  We all got back on the bus back to the hotel – back to bed.  It was only 830 so we woke the boys up as they had done us – with ice and lots of it.  They werent too happy.  Joanna was sick, she said from the motion of the plane but we reckon it was the booze.  Wanting to catch up on sleep we went to the pool and basked in the sun and slept for 5 hours! Luckily we had creamed up.  As it was our last day we wandered down to an outdoor gig which was a band of 6 rock chicks – it was wicked.  What made me laugh was a woman from the band that looked like Joy from My Name is Earl and even said Holy Toleto in a deep Southern accent!  I still laugh about that now.  We stayed there drinking beers and having a little bop, watching big biker men fall about drunk for a few hours then went over to the Bellagio to watch the water cannon displays for the last time..we must have watched 4 or 5.  We were worried about the little duckies on the water too thinking they could be flung in the air by 1 of the cannons!  We then went off to Caesars Palace as we hadnt been there before.  Apparently a lot of weddings take place there as the ceilings and surroundings are beautiful.  We stumbled across a bar called Shadow where some fellas were transfixed..wanting a beer we went inside and there were these projection screens where behind were women that you couldnt see faces just the shadows of them dancing – we didnt get a word out of Ryan the whole time we were there.  We said goodbye to the strip and went back to Hooters for an early night as we had to leave at 6am!!

Thursday 29th May
We checked out.  Paul was going to give us a lift to the Greyhound station for our bus to LA but his car wouldnt start so we got a taxi instead and left them to it.  We got to LA at 2ish and having no idea (as always) how to get to our hostel in Santa Monica we got on and off and on and off buses for a few hours in fairly rush hour donned with our backpacks and all our belongings!  I kept saying to my self that this is much better public transport than what we are going to get further down the line so be thankful, BE THANKFUL AMANDA! Every time some mad person banged into me trying to move further up the bus, every time someone banged into us trying to get off the bus.. be thankful amanda – this is all a test.  We reached our destination, the HI very relieved but the staff werent that helpful, we had planned to stay for 2 nights but they only had one available.  We were grumpy and fed up.  Even more fed up that we would have to pack up and leave in less than 24hours!  It had a beachy vibe to it but we really werent feeling it at this point.  We thought we would ask the Hostels tourist information office on the best solution but they didnt want to help us see all the attractions in one day – which we were gunning for!  You cant come to LA and not see LA, Hollywood, Universal Studios, Rodeo Drive etc but it looked like that was going to happen.  The staff were really rude and couldnt understand what i was saying, even though we spoke the same language so I stropped off, muttering something under my breath.  Realising there was nothing we could do we went for a little stroll to the water edge to possibly throw ourselves in but admired the lights instead – Blackpool eat your heart out.  We then found a great Buca Di Beppo Italian restaurant where Felix, our waiter cheered us up no end by bringing us FOOD and entertainment.  We swapped numbers as he wanted to take us out when he clocked off, he was gorge.  We went back to the hostel and passed out.  Felix did call but put him off for a night.

Friday 30th May
We showered (which were much to be desired), packed and went for our free brekkie.  Hard boiled eggs that you just shell and eat hole, with no cup or nothing! Very bizarre but i gave it a go.  We left our bags in storage and went for a wander down Muscle Beach towards Venice Beach with the intention of making our way to Hollywood!  It was a bit early for muscle on muscle beach but we took the windy road to Venice Beach, it is just like the movies, and we may have been in one.  They were filming and we forgot to duck.  Venice Beach is really nice and has a really hippy feel about it..the dreds and “will work for Marjuana” sign gave it away.  Other than that there is a lot going on there, alot of market stalls with really creative arty people doing there thing…amazing.  We met Salt trying to sell us his cd so if he is ever famous in the UK you know we met him ( I dont think he will be to be honest – his music was shocking, Laura even told him so).  We gave up looking for Hollywood so found an ice cream parlour, had the works with nuts on, basked for a bit before wondering back to Muscle Beach, where there were boys with no muscles swinging from the monkey bars, a bit of a let down but man they can swing.  We were off to Disneyland Anaheim so got back to the hostel collected our worldly goods and made for the bus to get the train.  The bus driver was moooooooody, she wasnt stopping for nobody and even tried to embarrass a homeless man that didnt have enough money until a kind lady paid for him…which shut the bus driver up.  She was mean to just about everyone that got on the bus but happened to be very pleasant to us as we got off.  Laura said she was ready to attack but as im her bodyguard it meant that i had to be ready too – which i was not.  We got our train tickets and boarded the train where we had a very nice conductor who helped us no end.  When we reached Anaheim a baseball game was kicking off and you could see everything from the train station as the stadium is a u shape, you could hear the music and the cheers it was great.  We got a taxi to our hotel, well Motel.  We pulled up and OMG it was hilarious, it was exactly how you imagine Motels in teh US to be.  It reminded me of the motels in No Country for Old Men and spooked me a little.  The lady on the desk was very nice and helpful, she was married to an Englishman, we didnt know him!  It had a pool which reminded me of the one in My Name is Earl out the front. We got to our room and it had the biggest bed that we had ever seen, a bath, a fridge, happiness beamed on our faces.  We went up the road for a chinese, if you can call it that and came back for an early night as we were seeing Mickey the next day.  So excited!

Saturday 31st May
I couldnt sleep coz i was so excited about meeting Mickey, Minnie, Pooh, Tigger (of course) so got up at 7am, showered and ready.  Ordered our taxi and off we went to DISNEYLAND!  We were like kids in there, we bought a hopper ticket which meant we could go between the 2 parks (California and Disneyland).  We did notice walking around that it is really for kids and we didnt know what rides were for adults or kids so we went on all of them.  We went on the log flume and stupidly enough I went in the front – I got absolutely soaked, drenched in fact but it was fun.  We went on Pirates of the Caribbean and i noticed a boat called Justine but i was too late getting a photo – what are the chances of that, a boat called Justine.  There were so many rides I cant name them all but they were great.  We had our fill after meeting Mickey and Goofy then went over to California World of Adventures.  I prefered it over there, they had more adult rides.  There was the California Screaming which we went on twice and i nearly lost my voice, another one where i got soaking, 1 where you feel like you are flying, 1 pathetic one that wasnt really a ride, 1 that shoots you up into the air and it feels like your brain is about to pop out, then they have all the shows.  we had been there 9 hours when all the parades start which were spectacular and something that i couldnt miss.  Then the fireworks OML they were fabulous and its hard to imagine that they go off every single day, its fantastic.  Its how you see it in the adverts with the Palace in the background!  The pictures dont do it justice but i dont think i will be going back there in a hurry.  We ended our day (11pm) at the Buzz Lightyear ride where you get lasers and have to fire at Z´s all through the ride.  Laura was winning but then i thrashed her in the end hehe.  After finally getting out through the crowds we jumped in a cab and went back to the hotel and went straight to sleep.

Lots of love

Amanda Disneylover Oakley xxx